Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive

Re: Welcome to the Search

Re: Welcome to the Search

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Posted by Amanda :) on September 11, 1999 at 10:33:26:

In Reply to: Welcome to the Search posted by Sam on September 10, 1999 at 22:52:51:

: Welcome to the board - I am new here too and have found some very compassionate
: folks here...nice crowd to hang in.

: We are searching, as I believe we did when babes, so perhaps that is
: our occupation - searcher.

: The search for me is an emotional, feeling connection and when I get
: close, I begin to push away because it becomes unsafe - like the babe
: getting close to mom or dad - only then to be denied what was needed.

: constant push, pull, attract repell, approach - retreat, until we
: find with whom we can be safe... words that echo: until we find with
: whom we may be safe.

: Welcome to the Search

: Sam

Welcome to "fourdom" Carrie :) (and Hi to you too Sam :)

It seems to me that we 4's yearn to make connections - both with others and, paradoxically, with ourselves. I say it's a paradox because we so often are accused of 'navel-gazing' that one would think that we are, if anything, too connected to ourselves. But this often simply isn't the case. Who is the 'authentic' me? This is the question we struggle with.

I've recently had an experience where I struggled with this very question. The best answer I've found - for now at least - is that I can't define myself within easily identifiable parameters. I am a multi-faceted person (as are we all) who experiences many highs and lows and has talents and foibles in pretty equal measures - just like the rest of the planet. The key, for me at least, is to stay honest. When I'm brutally honest with myself and honest in my dealings with others, I make the best kind of connections. Sure, it's a vulnerable place to be - but the pay off is well worth the effort.

I look forward to hearing more from you, Carrie - and you too Sam. This is my favourite little playground for 'the search' and, being the eternal extrovert, the more the merrier!

smiles
Amanda :)

Follow Ups:

Re: Welcome to the Search Ronnie 11:29:46 9/11/99 (2)
- Honesty - at a price! Amanda :) 11:56:23 9/11/99 (1)
  - Re: Honesty - at a price! Hal 13:27:10 9/13/99 (0)

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: : Welcome to the board - I am new here too and have found some very compassionate : : folks here...nice crowd to hang in. : : We are searching, as I believe we did when babes, so perhaps that is : : our occupation - searcher. : : The search for me is an emotional, feeling connection and when I get : : close, I begin to push away because it becomes unsafe - like the babe : : getting close to mom or dad - only then to be denied what was needed. : : constant push, pull, attract repell, approach - retreat, until we : : find with whom we can be safe... words that echo: until we find with : : whom we may be safe. : : Welcome to the Search : : Sam : Welcome to "fourdom" Carrie :) (and Hi to you too Sam :) : It seems to me that we 4's yearn to make connections - both with others and, paradoxically, with ourselves. I say it's a paradox because we so often are accused of 'navel-gazing' that one would think that we are, if anything, too connected to ourselves. But this often simply isn't the case. Who is the 'authentic' me? This is the question we struggle with. : I've recently had an experience where I struggled with this very question. The best answer I've found - for now at least - is that I can't define myself within easily identifiable parameters. I am a multi-faceted person (as are we all) who experiences many highs and lows and has talents and foibles in pretty equal measures - just like the rest of the planet. The key, for me at least, is to stay honest. When I'm brutally honest with myself and honest in my dealings with others, I make the best kind of connections. Sure, it's a vulnerable place to be - but the pay off is well worth the effort. : I look forward to hearing more from you, Carrie - and you too Sam. This is my favourite little playground for 'the search' and, being the eternal extrovert, the more the merrier! : smiles : Amanda :)

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