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Re: Fours Gift
Re: Fours Gift
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Posted by Rachel on September 12, 1999 at 15:42:22:
In Reply to: Fours Gift posted by Sam on September 11, 1999 at 16:26:43:
Thank you for your so open posts, Sam They are a great comfort to me. I wish I could meet you.
I think what you say re connecting with Spirit - getting the other noise out of the way - is the only way. We can do that by meditating, which can be quite difficult especially on our own, but I think we can also remember who we are. That we are not this ego that we're so busy defending. I think it's so hard for 'fours because they are quite deep and spiritual or at least their ego defenses are . Its the same defences that are also our gifts that make it hard. Like our authenticity which can express itslef as a stiving for the true self, a connection with spirit. But we can also make a false god, an idol out of that virtue, in the sense that we exclude other virtues and place that one above all else. Then we can get into problems. This vice/virtue dichotomy can be very confusing. We can go along on our virtue of authenticity thinking we are doing and saying the right things, while all the time we are losing sight of our true selves. I say these things to people feeling I'm being authentic and courageous, and when they lash out at me or push me away, I forget that I am one with God, that 'nothing can seperate us from the love of God' and feel dreadful rather than strong, because my neuroses step in and make me crumple. I'm St. Joan without any armour. People say I've got to change. While I see it as my vocation to speak out the truth and challenge people. They say I've got to toe the line and conform. I'm so miserable and lonely now - I feel they are trying to deprive me of even my self. Rachel.
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