Re: Honesty - at a price!

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: : : : Welcome to "fourdom" Carrie :) (and Hi to you too Sam :) : : : : It seems to me that we 4's yearn to make connections - both with others and, paradoxically, with ourselves. I say it's a paradox because we so often are accused of 'navel-gazing' that one would think that we are, if anything, too connected to ourselves. But this often simply isn't the case. Who is the 'authentic' me? This is the question we struggle with. : : : : I've recently had an experience where I struggled with this very question. The best answer I've found - for now at least - is that I can't define myself within easily identifiable parameters. I am a multi-faceted person (as are we all) who experiences many highs and lows and has talents and foibles in pretty equal measures - just like the rest of the planet. The key, for me at least, is to stay honest. When I'm brutally honest with myself and honest in my dealings with others, I make the best kind of connections. Sure, it's a vulnerable place to be - but the pay off is well worth the effort. : : : : I look forward to hearing more from you, Carrie - and you too Sam. This is my favourite little playground for 'the search' and, being the eternal extrovert, the more the merrier! : : : : smiles : : : : Amanda :) : : : I'd like to say hi and welcome too... : : : There just was something in that "Who am I" that struck a chord within me, I've never been able to define myself in just a few words. I'm always amazed when people describe themselves just that way. : : : Honesty is another thing I agree with, but sometimes it's just so difficult...I don't mean "not lying" but being truly open and honest. It hurts, but it's really rewarding too, true. : : : I just wish I could see my good sides now, as well, not just the foibles... : : : Ronnie : : Hi Ronnie :) : : Isn't it funny? We 4's are the absolute masters when it comes to self-critisism, yet can be totally destroyed by critisism from others. At the same time, we so often fail to see the good in ourselves, yet become embarrassed or dismissive when others point it out. : : As the Jefferey Rush line from "Shakespeare In Love" goes.... : : "It's a mystery"! : : smiles : : Amanda :) : The self-criticism destroys us too--it doesn't hit as hard as when it comes from someone else, but it eats away from the inside and gets us stuck in bad feelings and depression. : And why is it we find it so hard to believe when someone points out the good in us? Do we all have such low self esteem? Why are we so afraid of being great? Why do we shy away from success to the point of sabotaging it? Do we gain so much from our misery? : - Hal -

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