Re: Look into the Belly

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: Hi Sam : Thankyou for your kind words....every little bit helps. : I need to clarify something. I'm not living with everybody else's integrity - but my own. Living with integrity, to me, is about being honest - both with myself and with others. This has proved to be a painful process for me and one that has profoundly altered my life. : For such a long time I have chosen to only ever focus on the good - and turn a blind eye to the bad. Unfortunately, the truth got buried beneath the denial into the process. Once I became 'aware' of the truth though, I knew I had to take action. For me, this meant ending my marriage of 19+ years. I now find myself, at nearly 40 years of age, on my own - for the first time since I was 16. I have two teenage children whose lives have been completely turned around. I have the responsibility of caring for my terminally ill mother - who is more supportive of my ex than of me (although I'm sure she's trying to understand) - to say that my decision has caused a great deal of upheaval for many people is an understatement. : Add to this the accompanying emotional issues - not to mention the financial ones - and you have a recipe for the penultimate bad-hair day! I'm sure you can't blame me for sometimes wishing that I had remained blissfully ignorant....I find the price of awareness high. : I've had to face tough things before - and I have lived through, and grown from the experience. I'm sure I'll get there this time as well. It's just hard - that's all. : Amanda : : : Will you share something with me... : : Will you tell me about the mud at the bottom of the pit. That mud : : is the muck of judgment covering you, smothering you - living with everybody : : elses integrity. : : There is nothing in you that must change. You were born perfect, and : : under the mud is your perfection - it is there. Perhaps your sharing : : will help me find my born perfection. If you help me I will help you. : : I don't mean the perfection as defined by others, I speak to the grace : : of yourself - you experience it all the time, but perhaps do not yet : : see that; and finding that awareness, more will be shared with others. : : You have done so on this board, I feel your words and my life has shifted : : in awareness - thank you for your grace. You have much to share, and to gift : : to others, I hope I may experience some more. : : Sam

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