Re: Do any of you feel this same way?

Posted by Ev on September 13, 1999 at 17:20:40:

In Reply to: Do any of you feel this same way? posted by Cory on September 13, 1999 at 15:50:00:

: A journal entry of mine...
: Social Alienation...
: any of you ever feel this at this extreme? even more than me?

: August 9, 1999
: Awake for only ten minutes after a 12 hour day at Disneyland...has rendered me a strange feeling, physically and psychologically. All the questions, ideas, and answers of a philosophical nature that have been building up in me over the past few days cannot be recalled to mind, instead more perplexing psychological inquiries are surrounding my thoughts. Disneyland is a wonderful place to taste the masses. Here, I see the people I loathe with a passion, yet some pity for, enough pity to want to help them in a way. One thing that disturbs me about the masses, and particularily the younger ones of my generation, is not just the fact they Look alike....but that they Think alike and ARE alike! Is it possible that it really just is One Person who happens to be manifest in several hundred thousand bodies? It truly is confusing, after a while I could not even tell them apart! They wore the same type of shirts and shorts. Their hair was in the same style. Their skin the same texture and tone. And their faces? Well, there was little difference even there, and I consider it considerate of myself to even give them credit for having faces, for they are faceless creatures. They even Acted the same! They all talk about other people, kiss with their sexual associate, and act rather happy and cheery. The only other living life form I can compare these lower forms with are Amoeba. Amoebas reproduce by splitting themselves up in mitosis, therefore their "child" is just a clone of themselves. That is exactly what these things are - Amoebas. Many creatures, but essentially one. So where is my natural idealist temperment in all of this? Rather interesting question, since it seems to have dissapated. No longer do I feel any warmth or care for them.....I have no reason why I should. Wait, Have I Ever felt warmth or care for them? No. The vulgar masses are not for me, and I am not for them. Seperated by an extreme, where I am much higher and they are much lower than me. And I prefer to not offer anything positive to them, or even be liked by them, but instead would rather deal them my harsh negative vomit from my underbelly.

Hello Corey,

I don't believe I've ever had it quite this bad but I've had similar thoughts about the faceless masses. Sometimes I would wonder just why in God's name all these people are here scurrying to and fro in seemingly inconsequential activities. At times, like these, it's impossible to not be eaten up with hubris. Elitism at its very finest!

You, of course, realize that this is a very unhealthy outlook to hold toward your fellow man, don't you? I did too but it was still impossible to keep from slipping into this mindset at times. I've noticed that as I've gotten older, and no longer so full of myself, I've tended to feel this way less and less often.

Ev

Follow Ups:

• Yes, I see it as unhealthy...but that's because my overall mental health is terrible. I'm depressed and I figure my Level of Development is around 6 or 7. Cory (no text) 22:24:33 9/13/99 (2)
  • Re: Corey , sorry if I sounded harsh (no text) Tiggy 23:27:40 9/13/99 (1)
    • No, i didnt think you were harsh! dont worry! Cory (nt) 18:21:36 9/14/99 (0)
• Re: Do any of you feel this same way? Ronnie 17:47:12 9/13/99 (0)

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