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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive TO RUSSELLPosted by Claire on June 25, 2001 at 23:48:22: In Reply to: HELP!! My relationship with a 4 is killing me posted by Russell of the Bluecoats on June 23, 2001 at 15:49:08: Russell, I am going through something similar with a friend. Let me share some relationship truths that might help. I've heard that people despise what is in the palm of rheir hand and they seek that which eludes them. If you make yourself overly available, she has nothing to ever pine away for or miss about you. Because you actively pursue her, she knows she can sit back, and let you bear the brunt of her moods. I've also heard that if someone is allowed to step on your feelings and get away with it (like she does apparently, like when she said "shrug") that it is hard to have romantic feelings for that person. You have to show that you value yourself enough not to put up wth maltreatment. I have learned that we can't change other people's core personalities but I hope knowing about these two relationship truths will help you. I feel for you cause I've been there.
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