Actually....no....

Posted by Amanda :) on September 14, 1999 at 10:40:24:

In Reply to: Do any of you feel this same way? posted by Cory on September 13, 1999 at 15:50:00:

Hi Cory :)

I haven't the time to read every response from fourdom on this subject, but thought I'd take a quick moment to reply....although I'm not sure if I'm the odd one out here....(do I sound like a 4 or what?)

Ever since I can remember, I've wondered about the individual lives of people I find in a crowd. It's something I've always been endlessly fascinated by. I can remember travelling long distances to, say, go on holiday, and pass countless houses - and wondered what the lives of the occupants must be like. I've wandered through crowded shopping malls or theme parks and looked into the faces of the endless stream of people and tried to imagine what their 'story' might be....sometimes I've gotten quite carried away imagining some exotic history to accompany that wrinkled face or that wide eyed look. I can't say that I've EVER seen people as mere automatons or the 'amoebas' you speak of. I love being able to catch people off-guard by looking them straight in the eye and smiling - and (almost without exception) getting a smile back....

Maybe it's because I'm an extrovert?

mmmm
smiles
Amanda :)

: A journal entry of mine...
: Social Alienation...
: any of you ever feel this at this extreme? even more than me?

: August 9, 1999
: Awake for only ten minutes after a 12 hour day at Disneyland...has rendered me a strange feeling, physically and psychologically. All the questions, ideas, and answers of a philosophical nature that have been building up in me over the past few days cannot be recalled to mind, instead more perplexing psychological inquiries are surrounding my thoughts. Disneyland is a wonderful place to taste the masses. Here, I see the people I loathe with a passion, yet some pity for, enough pity to want to help them in a way. One thing that disturbs me about the masses, and particularily the younger ones of my generation, is not just the fact they Look alike....but that they Think alike and ARE alike! Is it possible that it really just is One Person who happens to be manifest in several hundred thousand bodies? It truly is confusing, after a while I could not even tell them apart! They wore the same type of shirts and shorts. Their hair was in the same style. Their skin the same texture and tone. And their faces? Well, there was little difference even there, and I consider it considerate of myself to even give them credit for having faces, for they are faceless creatures. They even Acted the same! They all talk about other people, kiss with their sexual associate, and act rather happy and cheery. The only other living life form I can compare these lower forms with are Amoeba. Amoebas reproduce by splitting themselves up in mitosis, therefore their "child" is just a clone of themselves. That is exactly what these things are - Amoebas. Many creatures, but essentially one. So where is my natural idealist temperment in all of this? Rather interesting question, since it seems to have dissapated. No longer do I feel any warmth or care for them.....I have no reason why I should. Wait, Have I Ever felt warmth or care for them? No. The vulgar masses are not for me, and I am not for them. Seperated by an extreme, where I am much higher and they are much lower than me. And I prefer to not offer anything positive to them, or even be liked by them, but instead would rather deal them my harsh negative vomit from my underbelly.

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