Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive
Posted by Matches on July 06, 2001 at 12:27:48:
In Reply to: Well, since I said I'll quit if Emily quits... posted by Mikko on July 06, 2001 at 12:08:17:
It is really a shame that you were unable to complete your point but I refuse to shoulder any of the blame for this fact. If anyone ever has their messages deleted, even if they are geared toward making a point, it is no one's fault but theirs (unless their message happened to be in response to a message that was deleted, of course). Points can easily be made without name-calling or other such things.
I would have rather not deleted those messages...if it were up to me, that sort of thing would be okay, but unfortunately I feel a sense of obligation to the visitors to this site to "protect their feelings"...whatever that means. Years and years of being taught to "be nice" has instilled in me a perverse intuition of when people have gone over the line in being rude or indecent, or whatever. So being that this is the four board, I felt that your comment was out of line and inappropriate. I don't necessarily mind that sort of discussion but when personal attacks become involved, that becomes the point where I usually will start removing messages.
There may be other means by which you can be free to express your thoughts without fear of my "authority" coming down and censoring you (email, ICQ, IM, etc). I really wish Becca could re-establish the Chat room because that was a place that allowed free expression of thoughts and ideas without the threat of censorship.
There is also nothing to stop you from continuing to make your point here in a way that is more appropriate for this setting.
: I'm not really a moderator anymore and therefore I can say that someone thought an honest exchange of opinions was a bit too much and those messages had to be deleted. Well, your call, your decision, your responsibility. You did what you thought was right and in this world where people shy away from taking responsibility for anything, you have to respect that.
: But I still think it was a bit too much to delete those messages, because I was about to make a point. It is that if a normally non-assertive person starts talking about 'getting rougher' or 'developing a thicker sking' it usually means the the person is just about to become a self-righteous bully without realizing that.
: The way to deal with hypersensitivity is to develop understanding of self and others, not to counteract with the most obvious unhealthy 8 way.