Posted by Someone you know on July 25, 2001 at 07:24:24:
In Reply to: can you tell me something? posted by Rhonda on July 25, 2001 at 03:20:35:
: In what way do you like this guy? I mean, is he just a bud? 'cause the way you open the letter along with several other things you say makes it sound like you have pretty strong romantic feelings for him. Is that they case? The two situations call for two different answers.
I have feelings for him-I guess they are romantic. It is not currently a romantic relationship though. I know that he likes me too and has for several years but there are children involved on both sides which make leaving not an option. The main reason I know that he likes me is that he also gets jealous if I make a new friend or have other plans. Ex. He and my husband went out the other night and tried to call me to say when they would be home. It was busy. When he got here he was like..so who were you talking to all night? Those are the kind of things that I am basing it on- plus the fact that he is always there if I need him.
I also know though that I bug the hell out of him- always much more needy than he is- and he says that I act like his 2 year old when he has to go to work. My big problem is that we are some of their closest friends- spouses are both 9's and I work with him occasionally so I am bound to see him sooner or later. It is just eating me up inside having these feelings. He thinks I am getting worked up over nothing.He says: We can't be together- why ruin a cool friendship just because it can't be more?
I say: I don't think I can be friends because it is tearing me up.
Problems: Kids are friends too. Will have to see him anyway. His wife calls me alot to help her with stuff. He says I just grow up and get over it. I just feel like he is my everything and I hate feeling that way about someone I can't have. I do feel like a 2 year old at times!! It has been very frustrating for several years. He says my problems are because I'm not happily married anyway and have nothing to do with him. There is some truth in that but that is a whole other issue and I am trying to stay faithful. My husband and his wife are both very nice but emotionally unavailable. He isn't happy either and you can tell that more about him then me. He says that he married her so that she could be strong when he wasn't. He says with me we would both be weak and that would scare him. Neither of us want to break up a family. It's too heartbreaking for children.
But I feel that I would be losing a huge part of me- my favorite person to be with- if I give it up. On the other hand it is causing me a lot of anguish- feeling bad if he goes away, meets someone new, etc. I wish I had never gotten this involved emotionally but he definitely fills a need that no one else can. I feel like it is lose-lose for me. Either I lose him or I lose my mind!! I am going to try to do what emoot says and not call him for a week. The problem with that is it will kinda piss him off and he'll be really cold when I finally call. But I still think it's a better idea than calling him for reassurance that he doesn't think I've totally flipped. I just don't know. I have to see him at work in a week anyway. What do you think now?