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Re: death
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Re: death


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Posted by amongtrees on July 25, 2001 at 15:14:37:

In Reply to: death posted by Excalibur on July 25, 2001 at 06:32:21:

: well... my grandma died this morning. It's been weird, i haven't felt too bad. Of course that makes me feel incredibly guilty. I dunno, you'd think i'd take death pretty badly... if my dog died i'd be incredibly distressed. I have this feeling I've been attempting to live as happily as i can lately, that i've forgotten to live with my emotions. I find myself getting slightly annoyed at others when they get upset all the time, yet i used to do it constantly. I've been trying too hard to be who i want to be that i've left behind what i consider the most important part.

: ...... or not....

: The truth is, I am sad. She was a wonderful person that i never got to know. She was so emotional and got excited so easily... my guess is she was a 4w3. But i was so detached from her, i wanted her to know i loved her but i couldn't do it. Whenever i was around her i would act like the child my family knew me as.... i'm pathetic in that way.

: I feel so bad for her, one of her own sons left her on her own when she entered the retirement village. She tried to kill herself numerous times because she felt so rejected. Now he's going to contest the will.... he can have it all for all i care... it's just sad and immoral to be contesting the money instead of embracing her life.

: Wow... looking outside... it's amazing that nothing changes. People just move through their lives like nothing could happen. It's no one's fault but as i drove my car through traffic today, i was deeply saddened by the fact that she's missing what little life is out there, and that everyone else isn't missing a thing. It's moments like these you realise what humanity is really about.

: I don't really know what to say anymore, i'm sad, but not the way i should be... i dunno.

: Ex


It's at times like these that you can really develope compassion. As you said, you look around and people are moving through their lives. The next time you are faced with someone, especially a stranger, remember your experience and how it changed your perspective, even if only temporarily.

Take care,

a.t.


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