Posted by Mikko on July 31, 2001 at 19:21:43:
In Reply to: death posted by Excalibur on July 25, 2001 at 06:32:21:
My granddad died on Christmas Day '99 and I never dealt with that too well. It was probably because I hadn't seen him in a long time before it happened and I was sort of at ease with him for a long time. In many ways I'm more like him than I'm like my dad. We had a sort of a mutual understanding and when he died, it just sort of happened, in its due course.
I was at work and my dad called me with the sad news just as I was going home. Everyone else was where my granddad lived and I went home, where it was really quiet and lonely. I couldn't take it for long so I went to where all lonely, sad and disgusted-with-family people are at Christmas -- to a bar. (They actually had a pennant up which said 'save your family and yourself, come here for a drink'. Which might sound really gross and tacky to some people, but I'm sure it saved some people from really nasty fights and trouble) I called a friend who was also home alone and when he came, we spent the night together, drinking a couple for my granddad's memory and just chatting about all kinds of things in our past and present (we've known each other for 8 years now). In the end I never knew my granddad well as a kid and only got somewhat close to him during his later years.
I've always had a strange relationship to death, when I've known it's imminent for some time. When people or pets are ill and it's obvious they don't make it for long. I've just accepted it and moved on. I have no idea what it would do to me if it happened suddenly to someone who wasn't 'supposed' to die. For example, if I know found my soulmate, got to know her and she'd die in a car crash or something very soon...there are few things that could break me down completely and I believe that would be one.
That makes me think of something, few people think that faith can be really cruel and just keep kicking people in the head. But it happens. The bloke who plays Frasier in the TV series lost about all of his family and loved ones in one or two strikes. I don't remember the details, but I remember reading about it and thinking how someone can be dealt so cruelly by life. His own comment was 'bad things happen' or something like that and he has just carried on.
Those who believe in God often say that God doesn't give anyone anything they truly can't handle. I'm not really a believer, but I hope that's true. When people go around prancing through their lives, trying to look good and successful and have trimmed bodies and perfect cheekbones and whatnot, they don't often think what would happen if they were dealt a true sickening blow that would leave them on their knees begging for mercy. I don't think what would happen to me if that happened, I don't want to think about it.
But I know that both birth and death are both inevitable facts of life and to me they only feel bad if they happen when they are not 'supposed to' happen.
Mikko