Posted by heatherb on January 30, 2002 at 07:09:50:
In Reply to: is it my fault? posted by Excalibur on January 30, 2002 at 01:29:45:
: i wrote a message last week about long-lost friends. someone was getting contact information for me to arrange a reunion with this girl i hadn't seen for almost 15 years. well i got a little impatient, and searched the internet for her contact info. finding her email address on an icq account, i emailed her a small 3-4 line message to see if she remembered me.
: that email was sent last friday, and on saturday (i received it on sunday) she replied. she said she remembered me and found it strange to be talking to me after so many years. she also wondered how i got her email address. this was all written in an equally short email which ended with the question 'how are you anyway?' and then 'speak to you soon' and finally her name.
: ok, i replied again on sunday, but my email was much more lengthy this time. for the most part i explained how i got her email and why i wanted to contact her, but i'm a little worried about some of the stuff i wrote. i mentioned how it was sad that our parents seperated (mine and hers) and we were also forced to do the same, that it was strange that nothing could be assumed about each others' lives, and that we may have already seen each other but never even known.
: anyway, it's now wednesday night and she hasn't replied. it might be nothing but unfortunately i have a knack for scaring people away. i didn't want to appear as if this communication between us was no big deal, so i wrote (though lightheartedly) how i felt about the situation. the things mentioned above are really the only things i can think of that may be difficult to handle for her.
: so i need to know how you would feel in a situation like that. do you think it's my fault for minimising the smalltalk? perhaps the whole situation is strange for her and it'd be the same no matter what i said. the thing is, as Diarmuid suggested, i was a person, i was myself, my email was not too four-like, so i didn't fail in that way i don't think.
: ah the art of conversing.... i don't think i'll ever understand it :)
: Ex
You are analyzing it so much... But I know how impossible it is NOT to analyze it...
You know, maybe you did kind of "jump in" real quick with so much information... but if she is a sensible mature person, what you actually told her shouldn't have really bothered her... but maybe it did take her by surprise. And perhaps she simply needs more time to reply and send an equally thoughtful email back to you. I mean, she saw that you wrote to her about important things and she probably doesn't want to reply with small talk.
If I were you, I wouldn't get paranoid yet :) Let a few more days go by...