I would not say "fault". :)

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: Hey there, Ex: : I can relate to your situation, since I am a guy who often comes on a bit too strong... I agree with Heather that you should give it a bit more time before you become totally discouraged and discount yourself as having blown it. You never know. She might be thrilled that you would like to reconnect and that you wrote such a thoughtful email. I think most people like to really give things time to develop. Let us know when and if you hear back from her. :) : Now, for the way you stated your question: "Is it my fault?" It seems that people don't realize there are numerous ways of interacting, and recommend their way as the right way. Most of the time, I would say with people you don't know, you probably should step assuming no immediate attachment on the other end, and with people you have not seen for a very long period of time, leave room for them being entirely different people. If you're generally a "head-first and assess damages later" sort, be prepared to experience a lot of disappoints. I am head-first, and generally shoot straight for the kind of connection I want. The price that I pay is I get disappointed and hurt quite a bit. The gains you get from being so direct may or may not outweigh the pain. For me, they do. : : Froggy : : : i wrote a message last week about long-lost friends. someone was getting contact information for me to arrange a reunion with this girl i hadn't seen for almost 15 years. well i got a little impatient, and searched the internet for her contact info. finding her email address on an icq account, i emailed her a small 3-4 line message to see if she remembered me. : : that email was sent last friday, and on saturday (i received it on sunday) she replied. she said she remembered me and found it strange to be talking to me after so many years. she also wondered how i got her email address. this was all written in an equally short email which ended with the question 'how are you anyway?' and then 'speak to you soon' and finally her name. : : ok, i replied again on sunday, but my email was much more lengthy this time. for the most part i explained how i got her email and why i wanted to contact her, but i'm a little worried about some of the stuff i wrote. i mentioned how it was sad that our parents seperated (mine and hers) and we were also forced to do the same, that it was strange that nothing could be assumed about each others' lives, and that we may have already seen each other but never even known. : : anyway, it's now wednesday night and she hasn't replied. it might be nothing but unfortunately i have a knack for scaring people away. i didn't want to appear as if this communication between us was no big deal, so i wrote (though lightheartedly) how i felt about the situation. the things mentioned above are really the only things i can think of that may be difficult to handle for her. : : so i need to know how you would feel in a situation like that. do you think it's my fault for minimising the smalltalk? perhaps the whole situation is strange for her and it'd be the same no matter what i said. the thing is, as Diarmuid suggested, i was a person, i was myself, my email was not too four-like, so i didn't fail in that way i don't think. : : ah the art of conversing.... i don't think i'll ever understand it :) : : Ex

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