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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Re: How do fours earn a living?Posted by Margaret on March 24, 2002 at 19:10:47: In Reply to: How do fours earn a living? posted by Forensicquilter on March 23, 2002 at 19:55:02: Sounds like you need to refine your decision-making process. I have struggled with the same problem for a long time and am still working on trying to perfect the system I use to make my daily basic life decisions. These past few weeks have been very stressful because I did not have an adequate, strong enough decision-making system to help work through out all the choices. I am still trying to come up with something. However, in the meantime, I've decided to start building a system designed to improve my weakenesses. This means the key areas I need to work on most: 1. Separate the "need to haves" from the "nice to haves". I used to always waste the most time on the "nice to haves" and procrastinate the "need to haves" which of course always lead to disastrous results and too much stress and "nothing important getting done". 2. Imagine the worst case and best case scenario, weighing the pros and cons of making each choice, then eliminating what would create huge losses/disappointment I cannot live with. (I used to always focus on what would give me the most pleasure/benefit and *completely ignoring* ANY potential for losses, which would result in *totally disastrous* consequences I was never prepared to accept.) Now I decide to switch that, and focus on minimizing dissapointments/losses, instead of chasing my dreams, and the stress is getting much much lighter, and my living much much easier afterwards, because I am now more prepared for potential losses. Foreseeing potential losses, preparing to accept them, building them into my expectations is critical to minimizing stress in daily life. 3. Assessing the likelihood, the "odds" of something that could or could not happen. I use to completely never do this, and would waste all my time on something that was so unlikely to ever happen completely ignoring that which was most likely to happen and be within reach, totally leading again, my life into a daily disaster. Now I try to stop focusing on my "pie in the sky" dreams, and instead keep focused on what is realistic, likely, and within reach. In conclusion, increasing focus on working to 1) minimizing time spent on "nice to haves", (maximize time spent on "need to haves"), 2) minimizing time spent on potential losses I cannot live with, and 3) minimizing time spent on events very unlikely to happen, (maximize time spent on most likely/realistic) my basic daily life decisions are improving. But it's hard to keep focused and disciplined on this system. My nature is to focus on the opposite. Just concentrate on perfecting and implementing your decision-making system and you will see and feel better results with your life.
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