Re: Lovely stuff!

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: Hi there Tiggy :) : : A favourite expression of mine that I got off some Australians is 'He's really up himself'. : This expression is most common here - the 'tall poppy' syndrome is alive and well down under. It probably stems from our infamous origins....convicts and all that. We Australians hate to see anyone getting too big for their boots - thinking they are above everyone else. When this happens, then they are said to be 'really up themselves'. A very 'ocker' friend of mine was having a winge about Rupert Murdock (the media giant) the other day and commented that he was (and I quote) "....so far up himself that he'd have to stick his toothbrush up his bum to brush his teeth!" Now *that* is typically Australian. : : : Sad to say this, but I think you're the first Australian I've liked. I travelled round India with a busfull and thought they were awful. They didn't appreciate the culture, swore every other word (F***ing), despite the fact that there were older people there, in their early fifties, were really rascist and openly rude. Whereas I've met lost of New Zealanders including the ones on the bus trip, and I liked all of them. I'm sorry to say that, I went with an open mind. Can you explain why? : I'm not sure that I can explain why....but I agree that it's a disgrace. : I have travelled to quite a few places in the world too - and have found my share of "yobbo" Australians misbehaving and giving the rest of us a bad name as well. We sadly have our own racist problem here - much like the rest of the world. I just don't get it. I never will understand how the colour of one's skin or the accent of one's speech makes them somehow inferior. I would even venture to say that people who look down their noses on others are really up themselves! : : : I don't think I'm as extrovert as you in the sense of outgoing. I find it hard to go out and 'have fun'. There always seems some crisis going on that prevents me. Maybe I'm just feeling down at the moment, because I've not been allowed back in school following my outburst at college. I'm being treated like a criminal; like I'm a potential danger to children, whereas I'm the very last person to harm children physically or verbally, and many of the teachers are horrible to kids. They think I'm mentally unstable. i might never be able to teach, which is what I've wanted to do since I was a child. : Sounds to me like you are having a really 'bad-hair day' pet - and for good reason. Hopefully, once this mess is all sorted out and Sr Kathleen gets back in her tree, things will return to normal again for you. If teaching is all you've ever wanted to do, then I'm sure you will find a way. Don't forget that the Catholic system is not the only one around. Who knows; you might even end up coming to our fair shores and becoming a teacher here. Just remember - there's more than one way to skin a cat! : As for fun.... : I guess having spent a great deal of my professional life on stage has helped. Being the lead singer in a rock band makes the whole socializing process much easier. People see you on stage and don't think there is anything strange when you walk up and start talking to them. It's all part of the job actually - they call it 'working the crowd'. There is never a question of trying to 'fit in', because everyone else is trying to 'fit in' with the band! It's all about attitude really. Like clothes, for instance. Have you ever found yourself out - and overly concerned about whether or not you are wearing the right outfit? Am I over-dressed? Too casual? I've heard many 4's ask these kinds of questions. And me? Never! I wear what I feel comfortable in. I like to be tastefully dressed and wear styles and colours that suit me and convey something about me. I never was a slave to fashion - but then we 4's are known for our individualistic style! Generally though, I am comfortable with people. Whenever I've met a (so-called) "important" person, I remind myself that they fart just like the rest of us! That is not to say that I treat people with disrespect - to the contrary, I try to treat everyone I encounter with a great deal of respect....but in the final analysis - we are all just people with the same kinds of hopes and dreams and problems to fix - and all doing our bit to make the planet go round. I find people really fascinating and love nothing better than getting to know someone new - searching for the beauty in them and hearing their stories.... : : : Tell me about your kids, I have three nephews and a niece. I'm very close to all of them. : I have two great kids. My son James is 17 and in his final year of high school. He's a 7 - and just gorgeous. He has always been a very go-with-the-flow kind of person and nothing much phases him. He is a very talented musician and plays bass, piano and guitar. He is also a wonderful cook and plans to become a chef/musician when he graduates. He's the first to tell you that he only intends doing the chef bit until he earns enough money to finance his music career. He's talented enough in both areas to do well - so I guess he'll find his own feet eventually. My daughter Amy-Louise is 13 and in her second year of high school. She is a 4 of the dramatic variety and, like her mum, a screaming extrovert! She is far more highly strung than James and VERY vocal when things don't go her way. She has a fiery temper (to match her red hair) and an eloquent command of the english language when she puts her mind to it! She is also one of the most affectionate people it has been my pleasure to know. Amy is an extremist - there is no middle ground in her vocabulary. She would love to be an actress when she grows up and I have no doubt that she'll do it - and be brilliant to boot! When it comes to discussing future options with the kids, I've always told them to find what their gifts and talents are and to consider what they love the most....and aim to make a living at it. It's a simple enough concept as far as I'm concerned. If everyone did what they truly loved for a living, the world would be full to the brim with happy campers :) : How do you keep so cheerful? Do you not have a sense of shame like me and a lot of other Fours, a sense of there being something wrong with you. I feel like I can never get anywhere, because of it. If I had lived in the time of King James, I would certainly have been burned as a witch. : I have come through the school of hard knocks I'm afraid, Tigs. I felt a deep shame and just *knew* that there was something seriously wrong with me. As it turned out - I was right! 4's don't need a whole lot of reasons to feel that 'shame' you speak of - and when you add having been raped into the mix - 'shame' was only the beginning....but not any more! I had a stress breakdown in '89 and ended up in a psychiatric hospital for some months. Breakdowns are wonderful in that they 'break down' old patterns. I look back on that time and am incredibly grateful for the experience. I learned SO much, and it was an opportunity to start fresh. My doctor, Helen, once asked me to describe myself. I made a long list of every awful thing I perceived about myself....it was thoroughly pathetic. Then I had to go out and ask some of my close friends if they saw these characteristics in me. Some things they did see - but most they didn't. I then had to make a list of all the things I would like to be - a 'wish' list of sorts. Then came the hard part - I had to go back to the same friends and ask them if they saw any of those qualities in me. Some things they didn't see - but (much to my surprise) most they did! This little exercise illustrated to me just how much more critical I was of myself than anyone else was of me....sound familiar? I learned to go a little easier on myself and just lighten up. I also learned how to switch off those destructive 'tapes' I was playing over and over to myself that were bringing me down. I CHOSE to think positively. You should try it sometime - you just might find that you like it! Isn't it odd that we 4's can so easily focus on the negative in ourselves, but have a devil of a time with the positives. Is it against our religion or something? : Anyway kiddo - you hang in there. If there's one thing I know it's this: things WILL get better. : take care : Amanda :)

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