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Re: Nines?

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Posted by infp on April 18, 2002 at 07:52:17:

In Reply to: Nines? posted by a 4w5 INTJ on April 18, 2002 at 02:45:58:

I'll have to agree that she will hurt you more. IF you can handle being "just" friends with her, then great. When decisions like this are made they are final usually. Start trying to find some ways to unconnect yourself from what was once shared between you two, because if you both are gonna live with each other.......your gonna be in store for a wayyyyyy different dynamic than your use to.

: Hello. I have been involved in a stormy relationship with a 9 for six years. Recently, this person has told me, for the first time, that she no longer wants to be with me. This came after an awful personal tragedy, lots of fighting, and a bout of depression on her part. She claims, when she is not blaming me for all her problems and spewing hostility, that she still wants to be "friends", and we still talk everyday, though things are awkward. She is resolute that she no longer wants to be with me, however she still wants to live with me when we go to grad school. Now, I guess here is my question : do 9s, in anyone's experience, change their minds about things like this? Or is something like this likely to be a firm conviction, that will not change as a matter of principle? Should I just listen to her and give up hope?

: Thanks for any advice or experiences. I couldn't bare to lose my dear 9,
: even if she may be unhealthy and selfish. I've done my share, too.

Follow Ups:

Re: Nines? 4w5 INTJ 13:36:39 04/18/02 (6)
- dynamic infp 14:39:28 04/18/02 (5)
  - May I generalize on this dynamic a bit? froggyTheFrog (9w1) 19:31:20 04/18/02 (3)
    - Re: May I generalize on this dynamic a bit? 4w5 INTJ 20:46:51 04/18/02 (2)
      - Just as with any relationship..... froggyTheFrog (9w1) 21:27:52 04/18/02 (1)
        
        You can't handle anyone's anger for them. They have to handle it or not. :( NT froggyTheFrog (9w1) 22:38:51 04/18/02 (0)
  - Re: dynamic 4w5 INTJ 15:19:31 04/18/02 (0)

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: I'll have to agree that she will hurt you more. IF you can handle being "just" friends with her, then great. When decisions like this are made they are final usually. Start trying to find some ways to unconnect yourself from what was once shared between you two, because if you both are gonna live with each other.......your gonna be in store for a wayyyyyy different dynamic than your use to. : : Hello. I have been involved in a stormy relationship with a 9 for six years. Recently, this person has told me, for the first time, that she no longer wants to be with me. This came after an awful personal tragedy, lots of fighting, and a bout of depression on her part. She claims, when she is not blaming me for all her problems and spewing hostility, that she still wants to be "friends", and we still talk everyday, though things are awkward. She is resolute that she no longer wants to be with me, however she still wants to live with me when we go to grad school. Now, I guess here is my question : do 9s, in anyone's experience, change their minds about things like this? Or is something like this likely to be a firm conviction, that will not change as a matter of principle? Should I just listen to her and give up hope? : : Thanks for any advice or experiences. I couldn't bare to lose my dear 9, : : even if she may be unhealthy and selfish. I've done my share, too.

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