Re: Carrie - apologies!

Posted by carrie on September 25, 1999 at 13:17:57:

In Reply to: Re: Carrie - apologies! posted by Tiggy on September 23, 1999 at 21:51:19:

no apologies necessary. the world just keeps going on, and you have to jump in. I'm like a four/five split--used to be a really strong four, but when i went to college i became obsessed with knowing. I mentioned the slippage i felt from one to another many moons ago. I used to be a poet, if anyone can be an ex-poet. It was easier "being original" than "knowing everything." actually it feels like both now. In the plainest terms, being embroiled in this struggle sucks. And i can't exactly articulate it non-4's and 5's. and people are just tired of my identity struggles.

my feelings of isolation are internal, not external, and wax and wane. I think four make me feel more five an fives more four. anybody relate?

anyways my point was i just get tired of the intellectual one-upmanship i see so often on these types of boards. what is there to prove? im no dolt. I dont know where i fit if i don't join in the game, sometimes, and even if i "win" what does that mean? Its as twisted and dishonest as anything else. its an odious, masturbatory lie.

carrie

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