Posted by jess on June 01, 1998 at 15:46:59:
In Reply to: Liabilities into Assets!!!! posted by Kat on May 26, 1998 at 16:23:43:
: After reading the books by Palmer and Riso/Hudson for the past couple of years and trying to relate the habits of attention to my life... events unfolded
: during the last few weeks that brought these habits into clarity for me... I
: could finally see (up close and way too personal!) how elitism, push/pull
: relating, living in my imagination or the past/future etc. has handicapped me
: in my life. Although I must admit that these traits must also be assets in
: their own way they have caused much pain, confusion and stalling out. Has
: anyone out there, no matter what type found ways to turn these habits of
: attention into assets that work FOR you? Do any 4's have experiential tips
: that have worked? I do find myself trying hard to be more present, in the
: moment and paying attention to what is going on rather than seeing potential,
: being someplace with someone that I truly wanted to be with and being bored by the whole experience and then tuning out to the moment, extreme self
: absorption to the point that I'm so self conciousness that I tend to almost
: shut down at times......etc.
: Any suggestions from any type would be most welcome....
Wow..you sound like me....I have so severely sabotaged relationships (both romantic and friendship) because of the push/pull, etc...when I began to really look
myself, (during a severe suicidal depression, in which I was totally isolated) I became acutely, painfully aware how damaging the "tragic romantic" persona was and is.....but, conversely, it is exactly that persona which has given me a mystique and drawn some real interesting, wonderful experiences and people in my life....yet I have Always put myself in relationships with "unavailable" men which furthers the cycle of longing/lamenting for the unattainable...basically, for me, getting to the "pain" and trying to transform it consciously has helped...something that is helping me is the Human Awareness Institute (HAI) they have a website...they give workshops on intmacy, sexuality, living at choice..it is a very process & FEELING oriented workshop series.....I think us fours need to find healthy ways to vailidate our pain, then "move on," in sense...that is, be aware of thow powerful it is to be so selfl-aware, so in touch with the "shadow" side of human experience.... but we need to eventually choose to be present, alive, and interactive in life, in the joy and beauty...that is our "destiny' as Fours, I believe....
Hope I wasn't too high on my soapbox....
take care
Jess