Posted by froggyTheFrog (9w1) (158.114.92.201) on April 23, 2002 at 13:10:05:
In Reply to: Personal Wedding Vows posted by emoot (216.189.14.12) on April 23, 2002 at 12:44:56:
: I've been to a couple of weddings where the bride and groom recite wedding vows/special sentiments that they each wrote. Both of the ones I saw were very sweet and endearing but very personal also. I had kind of a weird reaction to them....each time I felt like it was too mushy and it kind of made me uncomfortable. I don't suppose that all personal written vows would make me feel that way, but the two I saw were extremely gushy. I felt like everyone was intruding on their privacy.....even though they wanted it that way.....very weird.
My first reaction before your last sentence was, "But isn't this a gushy occasion? If it's not okay to gush then, when do we get to? :)"
I suppose that everyone attending may be "intruding" on their privacy, but when they're not so fabricated, ritualistic, and ceremonial, aren't weddings one of those rare occasions when they are sharing an intimate moment and it's actually okay for the rest of the world (or at least those they've invited) to look on? The moment is intimate because it is the final confirmation (idealistically) that these two people want to spend their lives together. It is the defining moment where they are making it happen.
: When I was planning my own wedding someone asked if I wanted to insert some of my own words in the ceremony. My initial reaction was to say "no way". I just wanted the basic "I do" exchange. I thought that was weird for me even back then because I have always been so romantically inclined. I could not imagine saying anything deeper or personal in front of a group even if they were family and friends. I realize now that it was because of my introversion......it is all seeded deeply inside me.
: I guess the types that would want to say those things publicly would be extroverted feeling types. Although one of them I witnessed was very much an introvert. (An INTJ or INFJ.....I think......oh forget that...I don't know what type she is....she is an enigma.)
I think you are correct about this being an introvert/extravert issue. Despite being shy, I am an extravert because I am very outward directed. When I fall in love with somebody, I always want to announce what a wonderful person they are on oversized billboards with neon signs. I tend to fall in love with introverts a lot though, so I usually don't go that route. Before I was more aware of how the other person felt, I was always hurt that my significant other did not advertise me to the world. I thought she was ashamed of me or something ... (then we suddenly start drifting into different issues...)
: pondering again
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
: emoot(: