Posted by - pd (134.153.98.3) on April 25, 2002 at 01:34:53:
In Reply to: Conquering your fears (specifically, avoidance behaviour) posted by Margaret (206.203.36.168) on April 23, 2002 at 16:25:14:
try to focus on the essence and ideal always (in life).
the essence and ideal here would be body and true physical health. focus maybe on the physical feeling and breath {like maybe bruce lee would}.
see the essence and the ideal of what you're doing, and is where the beauty - real/true - beauty of what you're doing and what everything is lies. with this in mind constantly, consistantly, and steadily and healthily it seems perhaps somewhat enough less likely that the distraction of extreneuous circumstances like what bobby or billy what's his name is thinking about for you as a potential love interest.
yeah. focus on the muscle movement and breath as your focus. i think that this is what working out is all about. [& well at least when it's not about pomp and hopeful usually dejected mating-ritual attempts.]
be confident in your self and know how much you matter. in truth's eye's view, objective, your soul and self and beauty and need for respect matters every bit as much as anybody else there in that gym.
and have a sense of humour. think about how (in your head) that when you get bigger and more muscular you're going to be able to protect yourself
with such great great ease from all of these puny men who - of course - all desire you, if they have their heads on straight, but know of beauty well enough to respect you and not encroach. [& at any rate if they do encroach you're in a gym and won't you be protected.]
as for not feeling good about your body ... that is all silliness. that can be flung out the window all at once. the body is a hold and a sacred thing and we just too often in our society, confused, forget this. the physical ideal of beauty no one no one ever ever lives up to. no one there anywhere ever reaches. but just know inside your head how you are a world unto yourself and should be repected (as we all should) ... and deserve to be.
{but - & here i go with my advice again, not even knowing you - don't
ever feel too bad abuot your avoidance. though, use your negative views of it just to guide and to just assist in 'motivating' you to do what you feel you know to be what you really want (and what's within truth right)
i don't know. i'm an avoidant person meself.
yes: try to focus on the essence and ideal always (in life).
then will one know of the real beauty. then one will love and have confidence in the self. and in trusted love for an imperfect& faltering humanity. often, that is. {& even though that won't make the world slow down and come to a sensitive view/stance of life-beauty's peace (???) just. & people stop being or at least seeming so superficial, caught up in their daily moment's games. ) a hypersensitive person needs to step back and just breathe and enjoy what life is, in these circumstance n' situations.