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Re: Question about the potential partner

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Posted by Margaret (206.203.36.166) on May 01, 2002 at 17:32:06:

In Reply to: Re: Question about the potential partner posted by Diarmuid (194.125.174.158) on May 01, 2002 at 11:37:39:

You ask really good questions. You definitely have a talent for being very realistic and up-front about the hard-core, raw facts of life. Not many people can do that.
I like this person, and I think he's really nice. He hasn't done anything negative, however, the problem is that I'm realizing my limits in exactly just how far I can stretch myself in meeting someone. I don't think I can move close to where he is until after one year of dating seems to work out first. That was just asking too much of myself what I was originally going to do.
Instead, I feel much more comfortable staying here for at least a whole other whole year, get a permanent job, and meanwhile wait to see if he is interested in asking to see me and get to know me and date me.
If things do not work out, and they might not, and he might not either want to do it like this, or be able to, or got his hands tied, or too busy, or something, in that case, I will have to start meeting and dating new people, (although and even though, I am still very, very reluctant to do so).

: Well, actually I want to know as much as possible about him.

: But, if you're thinking of quitting work, are you positive he'll be fully able to support the you and a kid?

: You're confident he'd stick with you through the tough times? That you'd stick with him?

: : heatherb, you left everything you had to move to your husbands home in Spain. Weren't you scared of it not working out? My cousin left her job, home, etc, to move to her bf's town too, (they are now married). I remember thinkg I could and would never do that. But now that I wnat kids, well..my question is how did you ever get over that 'pride' thing, that's what stopping me myabe, I don't want people (including myself) thinking less of me because I gave a potential good job just to see if it's possible to make a family. Maybe I'm just wondering, Is the decision for a woman to give up her job to start a family with a potential partner really bad? Or do you think it's okay?

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: You ask really good questions. You definitely have a talent for being very realistic and up-front about the hard-core, raw facts of life. Not many people can do that. : I like this person, and I think he's really nice. He hasn't done anything negative, however, the problem is that I'm realizing my limits in exactly just how far I can stretch myself in meeting someone. I don't think I can move close to where he is until after one year of dating seems to work out first. That was just asking too much of myself what I was originally going to do. : Instead, I feel much more comfortable staying here for at least a whole other whole year, get a permanent job, and meanwhile wait to see if he is interested in asking to see me and get to know me and date me. : If things do not work out, and they might not, and he might not either want to do it like this, or be able to, or got his hands tied, or too busy, or something, in that case, I will have to start meeting and dating new people, (although and even though, I am still very, very reluctant to do so). : : Well, actually I want to know as much as possible about him. : : But, if you're thinking of quitting work, are you positive he'll be fully able to support the you and a kid? : : You're confident he'd stick with you through the tough times? That you'd stick with him? : : : heatherb, you left everything you had to move to your husbands home in Spain. Weren't you scared of it not working out? My cousin left her job, home, etc, to move to her bf's town too, (they are now married). I remember thinkg I could and would never do that. But now that I wnat kids, well..my question is how did you ever get over that 'pride' thing, that's what stopping me myabe, I don't want people (including myself) thinking less of me because I gave a potential good job just to see if it's possible to make a family. Maybe I'm just wondering, Is the decision for a woman to give up her job to start a family with a potential partner really bad? Or do you think it's okay?

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