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I feel much better now, it's all been settled now (text) (whew)

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Posted by Margaret (206.203.36.168) on May 04, 2002 at 15:52:37:

In Reply to: Question for heathererb and others w/ same situation posted by Margaret (206.203.36.168) on April 30, 2002 at 19:51:55:

I feel much better now. In the message underneath Froggy's, I realized it was all just a matter of not feeling in control over particularly my work life. Not going after the job I wanted, because I was too scared, was making me feel out of control.
However, pestering others, especially in particular, someone who is not in a position to be able to do *anything* about it, was totally unrealistic and *impractical* as ever.
So, instead of taking my frustration of feeling not in control of nor making any progress from, out in the wrong way, I got my basic life strategy back together again this time with a more realistic plan. One that directly addresses exactly what it is that I want, in particular, how to go after the exact particular job I want, right here, right now.
As far as being the one controlling the intimacy, I really don't want it, I'd rather the man have it.
For all my control needs, I mainly and mostly desire to get them met primarily in other areas of my life, in particular, most especially, my job first and foremost, then my living and general social situations.

In the end, I think it was pretty much a matter of not having a clear, succinct, specific decision exactly determined about which particualr areas of my life I desired to have control over and which areas I preferred to give up control that was making this whole situation a big mess.
And now that that is determined, it is possible to move on form here. Thank God that's settled. Now we can move on. Now I can start making some real progress in life. *In particular, going after this ideal job I want.*

I apologize for all the outpouring, you've all been so patient and kind, thank you for your patience, and putting up with me. Again, I apologize for taking up so much attention. Thank goodness, it's all settled now, and now we can move on. (whew)
(again, sorry about that)
Margaret

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: I feel much better now. In the message underneath Froggy's, I realized it was all just a matter of not feeling in control over particularly my work life. Not going after the job I wanted, because I was too scared, was making me feel out of control. : However, pestering others, especially in particular, someone who is not in a position to be able to do *anything* about it, was totally unrealistic and *impractical* as ever. : So, instead of taking my frustration of feeling not in control of nor making any progress from, out in the wrong way, I got my basic life strategy back together again this time with a more realistic plan. One that directly addresses exactly what it is that I want, in particular, how to go after the exact particular job I want, right here, right now. : As far as being the one controlling the intimacy, I really don't want it, I'd rather the man have it. : For all my control needs, I mainly and mostly desire to get them met primarily in other areas of my life, in particular, most especially, my job first and foremost, then my living and general social situations. : In the end, I think it was pretty much a matter of not having a clear, succinct, specific decision exactly determined about which particualr areas of my life I desired to have control over and which areas I preferred to give up control that was making this whole situation a big mess. : And now that that is determined, it is possible to move on form here. Thank God that's settled. Now we can move on. Now I can start making some real progress in life. *In particular, going after this ideal job I want.* : I apologize for all the outpouring, you've all been so patient and kind, thank you for your patience, and putting up with me. Again, I apologize for taking up so much attention. Thank goodness, it's all settled now, and now we can move on. (whew) : (again, sorry about that) : Margaret

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