Posted by Ev on September 26, 1999 at 20:31:58:
In Reply to: Kissing cousins posted by PseudoName on September 26, 1999 at 19:23:49:
: LOL - that's funny Ev.
: : Yes PN, brethren applies to you as well! :))
: : Seriously, I have been of the opinion that a 4 was pretty much a 4. This last round of bickering, along with a statement Derf made some time ago about 4w3's being misunderstood, has opened my eyes a bit. It seems that both groups want to be right but the 4w3's seem to "need" it more.
: It's funny, I see it exactly the opposite way. 4w3's seem to be more resilient to me - a little less apt to take everything so personally, than 4w5's. To me, 5 seems to be more the peacemaker, a little more sensitive and a little less 'real world' but again, this could be my paticular brand of arrogance. As an example, when Cecil went after me on the board, my first reaction was PISSED. My second reaction was not to react at all. A lot of the 4w5's who post regularly on the main board, went off.
: Maybe need isn't the best term to describe it but it's the closest approximation I have at the moment. Could it be that 4w5's see failure more in abstract terms whereas 4w3's see it more in personal terms? I mean, I want to be right, but it doesn't devastate me if I'm not. Are 4w3's more personally devastated than 4w5's because they have more ego wrapped up in the fight? Am I way off base or close to the truth? After all, I have admitted to not being the most adept student of the enneagram. Your thoughts, please.
: : Ev
Hello PN,
I had exactly the same reaction to Cecil when she first went after me. I got pissed, I didn't respond for quite some time, and upon further provocation I went for it. I'm a 4w5 for sure so there must be other differences than how we react to attacks. If the 4w3 is able to not *dwell* on the perceived slight then I'd say you're ahead of the game. I can make dwelling on this kinda stuff an art form if I choose. :)
Ev