Posted by Hal on September 28, 1999 at 08:35:16:
In Reply to: Re: Thoughts on 4w3 vs 4w5 posted by Ronnie on September 27, 1999 at 16:20:57:
: I actually meant self-honesty with "uniqueness".
: It might be that 4w3 is a bit more detached from deep personal feelings but is more of a performer, being able to exhibit a great variety of "suitable" feelings. Or "unsuitable", depending on the occasion.
: I think the problem here is that to be able to fully describe 4w3 and the self-contradictory behavior, I'd have to know myself really well...and I don't. Anyways, I find that I very often feel I know just what is needed to present a "good" self-image, to come across as effectively as possible, in the threeish way. Still, the basic need is for authenticy and self-honesty and setting up facades doesn't really fit in well. That's the most acute self-contradictory trait I recognize in myself. It can be so bad that I sabotage myself in some situations where there'd be no reason to hold back. Furthermore, I usually find it easy to see through empty appearances.
: If anyone can fully describe the type four exhaustively, please do so... :)
: Ronnie
I know that contradiction well, as I've often put on appearances to present a good image, and I've often hated myself for it afterwards. And if I had a nickel for every time I've sabotaged myself...
The contradiction I see most in 4w5 is the 4 need to connect and share of myself; and the 5 stinginess and holding back, keeping things a secret for fear of losing part of myself. This has sabotaged me probably even more than the deceitful 3 side. It causes me great internal conflicts as I feel torn in two directions at once, and end up fearing that no matter what I do, the situation will not turn out well for me. As a result, I often push too hard and practically guarantee that I'll lose whatever it was I wanted desperately to hold onto. This is where I need to find my connection to 1 to see things more objectively, and to 2 to "get out of myself" and think of others rather than just myself. But doing so in the heat of the moment has always been extrememly difficult. Fear can be very blinding that way.
- Hal -