Posted by Hal on September 28, 1999 at 08:51:25:
In Reply to: Re: Our 4w3 brethren posted by Summer on September 27, 1999 at 10:28:21:
: I think 3's have great qualities. Unfortunately, it's been my experience only to know 4w3's or 3w4's of the less healthy variety. I don't like average to unhealthy 3 qualities at all.
: My girlfriend, who I've mentioned before, is a 3w4. She can be more than a handful at times. Extremely self-centred, flaky, insensitive to others, cannot empathize, hostile & thin-skinned - incredibly impulsive & ungrounded.
: My brother (4w3) is openly aggressive and attacks me when I don't agree with him, or defend myself. He's literally scared me out of his life. And it is sad, because deep down, we have some kind of 'soul' connection - and I do truly care about him. But I cannot handle him in my life. Also, the relationship was always one-sided, with me making all the effort. I grew tired of this.
: Damn, I'm sorry to come off as a '3-hater' right now -I just seem to be losing my interest in her friendship - and I'm looking for more meaningful friendships right now.
: I do notice that I tend to be 'surprised' by people all the time. For someone who seems to have good insight into others, I wish I didn't have to be so surprised when others act in their characteristic ways. I think acceptance is the key - I'm working on that one!
: Oops--- I have gone off on a personal note ---tchh, tchh.
I don't see what's so great about the qualities of a 3, and I can't recall ever knowing a healthy 3. I'm a definite 3-hater. :-)
What I've read says that at their best, 3's are genuine and everything they seem to be, and able to get things done and motivate others. Maybe it's mostly that I don't place much value on being recognized for great accomplishments. But I also question the genuine part of it--even the "best" 3's often seem to be consummate showmen. They don't seem genuine to me, and they don't seem very self-aware. How can you possibly be genuine to others if you don't know who you are? I find people like this arrogant and condescending, and yes, I'm being judgemental and I feel that I'm better off than they are because of my greater self-awareness. I may be self-absorbed, but at least I know I'm self absorbed. That gives me the opportunity to become less so; unawareness just leads you around in circles.
- Hal -