Posted by Hal on September 30, 1999 at 09:30:06:
In Reply to: Re: What's a healthy 3? My nephew posted by Auntie Tiger on September 29, 1999 at 20:19:53:
: Benjy is a 3w2 Three from his father who says you should play to win, not just to enjoy, and 2 from my sister who is blonde and bubbly. Now some 9 from his step-dad which shoudl calm him down a bit.
: Benjy is ten years old, but what a personality! his response to being told to put his hand up in class, even if he wasn't completely sure of the answer. 'Yes, I'll put up my hand and say, Mr Bollocks! (Pause) Mum, what ARE bollocks? He's served behind the bar in Greek nightclubs at the age of three, drunk too many orange-juice slammers and threw up. Danced on the bar. Won a break-dancing competition. Arranged some dodgy deals involving out of date computer stuff. 'I'm into selling ' he told us.
: But he cries if he can't get Mayfair and Park Lane in Monopoly, or if he can't put down a completely fabricated word in Scrabble.
: He goes to London pubs, where he's known as the pin-ball wizard. he hails london taxis, answers the phone at his dad's office and knows nearly eveything better than anyone else. He's already decided what car he wants.
: he's very; cute , very clever/quick , very funny and too sensitive. Everyone adores him. I met a 3 at an E-gram conference and found him very sexy. I'd love to be a Three and fit in and achieve.
It's that desperate need to achieve and be recognized that really bugs me about 3's. And what bugs me even more is how often it works for them--they play these games and put on a show, and people eat it up. They get exactly the reaction they want. I say it's unhealthy because if that were really what they wanted, they would get it once and then be free to stop. But they don't stop. It's never enough. They are unable to relax and truly enjoy all that they've accumulated. They move so fast that they have no time (or often desire) to reflect on what they've done, why the've done it, and what's really important.
Many people may find this sort of behavior endearing and admirable for how much the 3 seems to be loved and what he has achieved. But I don't. I'm sure a lot of it comes from growing up in a wealthy neighborhood surrounded by people who's primary focus in life was making money and trying to buy happiness. I knew far too many people who put on a show for others to get approval, and because they couldn't face who they really were. They too were into selling things and knew what car they wanted. I didn't buy it, and I wasn't impressed with their expensive cars. I've grown very tired of the monuments to excess that so many people (especially in the U.S.) build and worship. I find it very disheartening. And while there is certainly a part of me that wants to achieve and be recognized, I don't like the 3-ish strategies for getting there.
- Hal -