Thank you Tigs! And Americans aren't intellectual...just me and a few others ;) Actually, if you want to imagine America: Imagine an Unhealthy Three

Posted by Cory [no text] on October 08, 1999 at 18:22:20:

In Reply to: Re: Dear Cory posted by Tiggy on October 06, 1999 at 23:48:13:

: I was amazed when you said you were only 19. It was you wasn't it? Something very young. You seem so mature and self-assured and eloquent. I've got to admit my prejudices and say that I never knew Americans were so intellectual! Jonathan can have feelings like you do in looking up at the sky - or even eating a lettuce sandwich! He can delight in the mundane at times, though old English lettuces are known to have certain psychadeic qualities.

: St. John's Wort (Hypericum) has come out well in proper drug comparisons in Germany. tested against anti-depressants and placebos. It's easily available in Health Food stores or mail order is sometimes cheaper. I'm on Efexor (venlafaxine) which is called something else in the States. an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Re-uptake inhibitor). That means it prevents some of the serotonin in your brain from being reabsorbed so at any one time there's more active in your brain. It can take a couple of weeks to get used to it. You can feel very tired at first. The trick is to go on it very slowly and not to be told it's depression making you tired - it's the drug! After that I had no side-effect though. It helped me, but I'm still a mess. People can say it's old behaviour patterns. I can say it's a cowardly world that can't cope with people who won't wear masks. I am very interested in your wanting to write. Pleas share more about it if you feel able. What sort of stuff? Why don't you want your parents to know. Embarassment? Fear of interference? I used to hide everything from my parents because I knew they wouldn't be able to cope with the sort of problems I had. Now I let them know more, esp. my mum and I don't feel so isolated. What's your situation at the moment. I thought you said you weren't doing anything. Join the club. I think I should become a lawyer as I'm always involved in disputes. Maire's message rang very true for me. It's a shame we can't all get together for an evening isn't it. A convention. Have you been able to talk to anyone about feeling depressed? 'Bear ye one another's burdens' and all that. I'd forgotten that verse, and it's so much what I believe in. I used to have moments of awe looking up at a star-filled sky, but now I'm too short sighted to see the stars properly. as a child I would sit at the end of my bed during the night and go all theological. I still have insomnia, (it's now 4.45 am. I've been to bed once and ended up crying.) Now I go on my computer. Someone has just recommended tryptophan. I've got some, but I don't really know when to take it. If it's the stuff not available over there, I can send you some, I think. Can you check out the legal position on that one. Jay said she'll send me some melatonin for insomnia and I can send her some tryptophan, but she was worried about the legalities. I think Jay is a she, from what she said, despite one of the Osmond brothers being called Jay. Where does the name Cory come from - it's a lovely name. I always like the name Corin in 'The Horse and His Boy' - C.S. Lewis. Good novels help me get by, and Lewis is particularly inspiring; both the literature and the theology. I'd recommend going to a meditation group too. But I'm not a great person to give advice because my life is a mess and I'm much older than you.

: Nice to have you around,

: Love Tigs.

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