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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Who Am I?Posted by Tiggy on October 10, 1999 at 17:07:45: What sort of answers do Fours expect to find to the question Who Am I? I ask this because being adopted the answer frames itself nicely in terms of parentage, race, family background, possible siblings etc. People don't realise, unless they are without them, the importance these things are for a sense of self. Some people think it would be great to come 'baggageless', but they don't realise how unstabilising it is to be without such knowledge, and how much certainty and sense of belonging they can give during one's formative years. I know some people have always felt alienated from their families, and this has made them feel a need to differentiate themselves further and in doing so, ask the question, Who am I? It's supposed to be a part of adolescence too, but that's different because it's a positive step - a growing up thing, a creative thing, a change and moving away from a previous accepted understanding of oneself. But not ever having had a sense of identity in the first place, makes it difficult to create one. There is no basis to build on, no starting point from which to move away. Just a void. I have often felt like a balloon, floating about, that has not got it's cord attached to anything. A kind of ongoing free-floating anxiety. Yet I have very definate ideas, beliefs, allegiances, and am well rooted in the material world and, probably thanks to my adoptive parents, have a greater amount of common-sense and business acumen than many of my friends. I don't understand what having a sense of identity or of oneself actually means, or means to other people. The question can be raised on different levels. Some people want to know what is at the bottom of their deepest self, and locate a spiritual answer, while others find answers through achievements, relationships, groups, or finding out things about themselves or their pasts. Do the different types find answers in different places, or find different answers, or do they ask different questions? Is identity more a problem for Fours? It's hard for me to understand things sometimes, because I don't really know what it's like to be without this huge questionmark.
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