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Re: Margaret,

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Posted by Margaret (63.90.142.194) on May 12, 2003 at 19:59:23:

In Reply to: Margaret, posted by Rho (24.61.40.6) on May 12, 2003 at 13:20:02:

> I took a big risk --
***Sounds good already.

> I sent that guy an email that was essentially really honest & open - I'm never open about my emotions. Over the week, although I'm still sad, I've arrived at a point where I have 'renounced' him - I don't want antother 'date', I don't want to try to get into a relationship. I couldn't be so honest and open if I still wanted to be with him. I have to keep my feelings hidden when I still want to be in a relationship with someone.
***What do you mean, which feelings do you feel you have to hide, and why? Is it just with him or with any intimate? What benefit do you get from hiding them?

> I told him I was dissapointed that he seemed to have lost interest in me and that that is why I stopped calling. I said I'd like to be freinds, and if he can't maintain contact with me because something or somone would make it difficult for him to stay in touch with me, I'd appreciate his being honest about it. last thing I said was "I hope you will be in touch"

>
> NOW -- what do I want from this?
> I am hoping that there was some kind of misunderstanding and that we have *both* been so hurt that we are both really skittish about emotional risks and that I am giving him an opening to come back.

***That's definitely possible. What type inclination does he seem to have? Is he avoidant, self-pres, etype? That might have something to do with his withdraw. Maybe he feels under too much pressure.

> The worst possible result is if he never responds. That would really suck. I would have taken a big risk, humiliated myself by openly telling a man that i liked him, and after all that shown that he didn't even think it worthy of a response.

***You did not humiliate yourself. You never do when you let someone know you care about them. You are a human being. Not a robot.

> THe hardest thing seems to be that when you take a risk to get a response from a person, that makes it easier to take another risk - and suddenly you PRIDE is not so important.

> If he doesn't respond (I have a feeling he won't) it will just drag out this non-putting-this-behind-you limbo that I have been going thru - the thing that has been sapping my energy

> but maybe the fact that I was brave, and gave it the college try, that might make it easier to get on with things - practice everyday, write in my journal and work on writing songs ...
***What kind of music do you play? That is good to keeep up your personal interests.

> Also the weather here isn't helping at all. Every day its grey grey grey -- and COLD.

***I know, me too, but seeon it will be summer and sunshine.

I'll talk more later, I'm geeting kikded uout the librar!!

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Re: Margaret, Rho (24.61.40.6) 23:16:08 05/12/03 (0)

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> > I took a big risk -- > ***Sounds good already. > > I sent that guy an email that was essentially really honest & open - I'm never open about my emotions. Over the week, although I'm still sad, I've arrived at a point where I have 'renounced' him - I don't want antother 'date', I don't want to try to get into a relationship. I couldn't be so honest and open if I still wanted to be with him. I have to keep my feelings hidden when I still want to be in a relationship with someone. > ***What do you mean, which feelings do you feel you have to hide, and why? Is it just with him or with any intimate? What benefit do you get from hiding them? > > I told him I was dissapointed that he seemed to have lost interest in me and that that is why I stopped calling. I said I'd like to be freinds, and if he can't maintain contact with me because something or somone would make it difficult for him to stay in touch with me, I'd appreciate his being honest about it. last thing I said was "I hope you will be in touch" > > > > NOW -- what do I want from this? > > I am hoping that there was some kind of misunderstanding and that we have *both* been so hurt that we are both really skittish about emotional risks and that I am giving him an opening to come back. > ***That's definitely possible. What type inclination does he seem to have? Is he avoidant, self-pres, etype? That might have something to do with his withdraw. Maybe he feels under too much pressure. > > The worst possible result is if he never responds. That would really suck. I would have taken a big risk, humiliated myself by openly telling a man that i liked him, and after all that shown that he didn't even think it worthy of a response. > ***You did not humiliate yourself. You never do when you let someone know you care about them. You are a human being. Not a robot. > > THe hardest thing seems to be that when you take a risk to get a response from a person, that makes it easier to take another risk - and suddenly you PRIDE is not so important. > > If he doesn't respond (I have a feeling he won't) it will just drag out this non-putting-this-behind-you limbo that I have been going thru - the thing that has been sapping my energy > > but maybe the fact that I was brave, and gave it the college try, that might make it easier to get on with things - practice everyday, write in my journal and work on writing songs ... > ***What kind of music do you play? That is good to keeep up your personal interests. > > Also the weather here isn't helping at all. Every day its grey grey grey -- and COLD. > ***I know, me too, but seeon it will be summer and sunshine. > I'll talk more later, I'm geeting kikded uout the librar!!

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