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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Re: Brenda's latest replyPosted by Mark on February 04, 1998 at 12:17:48: In Reply to: Re: Shanti's and Brenda's messages posted by Brenda on February 03, 1998 at 20:27:24: Hey, Brenda, thanks for the kind words. You're choice of the word "conquering" hits the nail on the head. I'm getting into all this enneagram stuff via Helen Palmer's "The Enneagram in Love and Work", and that's the exact word she uses to describe the four's situation. We do like the conquering. Our physical subtype is sexually competitive, too. I find only a few of my relationships fit into that category. They ended fast, or I just never developed them because I lost interest/attraction. I also find I spend a lot of time looking back on old girlfriends, and feeling compelled to call them up and start something new!! aaiieeee..!! But other relationships have been lacking that "push away" elements, and those have been the most meaningful ones for me. They ended too, but if there's any four characteristic at play, it was too much "pull in." It's as if the intensity of my four's craving for deep deep emotional contact burnt us out all by itself, and we never had time to get to me pushing her away. In any case, it's something to be aware of and be vigilant towards. Just recently, I've had a couple of dates with someone new, but I think nothing's going to happen there, not because of "pushing away" but just because she seems a somewhat ordinary person, and four or not, I just can't stand ordinariness! Eeesh, what a waste of breathing.... Anyway, thanks for your reply, and I'll be checking for future thoughts.
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