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: : Well, I don't know how everything is in the *four*dom...but then, you said you'll think of me as a 4w3 "until the next time." *LOL* : : Your message made me think of two things, one is that what might be such a devastating thing that seems to affect only your relationship with the person who said it, is dealt with but still makes you lay awake at nights and very emotional. The second thing the difference between fours and sixes, a four reaction is to obsess about what has been said inadvertantly, the six reaction is to lay awake at night because of all the things that *haven't* been said. : : Anyways, my advice is that you think why the thing upsets you so much and why is it that it's so hard to let go of it. There has got to be something unconscious behind it and finding that out might help you to solve the issue. : : : : Ronnie : This made me think about my boyfriend, he often wonders if he said too much,i.e. if somebody was hurt or annoyed by one thing he said (as a joke). : The next steps is that he gets irritated with himself for saying it, and irritated with the other : person because that person is too sensitive. All this before he knows if the other person has taken : offense or not. (He usually doesn´t want to ask the person) : I try to give reasons why the other person is probably not hurt by him in anyway, maybe was tired or stressed by other reasons. : I also say that the best he can do is to be nice in the future, since he is generally a nice person that should be no problem. : There is no point in dwelling on mistakes. : When it comes to the situation Summer discribed, if somebody say somthing that could hurt me, : I usually think that the other persons hard words depends on something disconnected from myself, : most times I can then go on living happily. : : Emma

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