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I can relate

I can relate


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Posted by N.W. on February 05, 1998 at 17:31:50:

In Reply to: Re: Brenda's latest reply posted by John DiFool on February 04, 1998 at 13:36:40:

John and Mark, I can relate to this one, too. As a sensitive 4w5, with melancholy tendencies, I run into trouble a lot with one of my profs. I have no idea where he is on the Enneagram, although his temper would probably blow the lid right off the uppermost scale. Not only is he a commandant and a perfectionist, he has little patience for sensitive melancholy 4w5s who would prefer a little support instead.

Mark, I liked your answer. Thanks. I'll see if I can find common ground with this prof, even though my basic instincts tell me to run. I basically avoid him as much as I can because the temperamental fit is very poor. Don't even mention trying to reason with this fellow, though, because my experience with him has taught me that he is not interested in listening to reasonable requests for a little patience. It basically is his way, or the highway. I don't know what type that would make him, but I do know that I will be seeing him as little as possible, and only when necessary.

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

: Yeh Mark, I'm basically in the same boat! I never get to the point where
: I am sick and tired of being around someone because they usually dump me
: before that point is reached! Probably because I allow myself to get
: "pulled in," as you put it, too early, and not many people can handle my
: intensity I have found out. Sooooo now I try to slow myself down, be
: patient, take my time and not pressure the other person. It's hard and
: takes some Oneish discipline, but I actually feel better not riding the
: emotional roller-coaster.

: As for working with a hard boss, I know what you mean! My advisor
: in my graduate program is a One (a rather stern and nay even rude One
: at that) and I always find myself gingerly baby-stepping around as if
: on hot coals when around her! I don't think shoving an Enneagram book
: under her face and saying-"Look! You're a One, I'm a Four and that's
: why we don't get along very well!"-would work very well...anybody have any
: advice on how to handle pain-in-the-neck bosses?

: I second the motion to not get entrapped/take pride in one's Enneatype.
: It defeats the whole purpose to allow yourself to indulge in your type's
: idiosyncracies and even vices. I find culturing a certain Buddhist
: detachment helps-tho admittedly I am guilty of the above from time-to-time!

: ---John DiFool (who didn't get long-winded for a change!)




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