Thanks

Posted by Konrad on October 26, 1999 at 14:33:25:

In Reply to: To Konrad--You are NOT to be Trivialized--Sorry! posted by Jasper on October 26, 1999 at 12:09:16:

: Konrad, I am so sorry if I by telling Tiggy my experience with Meisner, or by telling her to "go for it," because I have found some pleasure and personal growth from the experience, that you took that to mean that people (like yourself) who pursue it professionally are doing it for some vainglory.

: First, everything Tiggy said in her response to you is the truth.

: Second, come on guy, if you are a four posting some serious concerns and your thoughts on this board (including the depth perceptive one asking for advice about how to pursue the woman who turns to ghost when you get close)--you think I am going to see someone like that as a "superficial vain, trivial three." OF COURSE NOT. I already xeroxed and included in my acting notebook your response to me about monologues and auditioning. Whether I am ever confident enough to try out your suggestions, that's my own esteem issue to grapple with, but that cared enough to respond in the way you did speaks volumes about you.

: It is funny that signed on as Tom Cruise, though, because last night I thought I'd write some more to you on my earlier message citing Tom as the classic three, whose characters all seem the same, except for Born on the Fourth of July, Rainman, and Eyes Wide Shut, in which I am sure he is into his four wing. On the last, he and Nicole, and Kubrick spent a year or two in a room just discussing intellectually and physically the atmosphere of the film and how they can enter that. If that's not spending time in the comfort and growth zones combined--moving toward it (growth), the few steps back (into comfort)--I don't know what is.

: And ask an expert I will--when you get a chance, why not give me a list of your favorite plays (you have or considered auditioning with). Since we are both fours, I am sure there will be some on your list that I will say "yes, I've seen that one, I can see why...aha..etc." I am basically curious.

: On your quest for responses about why relationships/loves appear so much more exciting from a distance, and that when close, we "f--k them up"--that is good issue, a very four issue, because I once posted a similar concern but came at it differently (I was bothered why people walking in the neighborhood seemed so much happier than me); the realization probably being that it was partly illusion; that if I got to know any of them I'd realize soon enough they have similar (maybe even worse) problems than me.
: As fours, we love the romantic possiblities in life, in fact so much so, that the idea of the person at a distance has so much heightened possibility for great love and sex or just unending good times. I think what Karen wrote back to you was priceless (about the fear of rejection). It is also that this notion of our using our four imaginations to lend exciting dramatic tension and heightened physical/emotional attributes to that other person; then with all this in mind we pursue the way people pursue ghosts in films. The person seems so real in the woods, but the just as the pursuer seems to get close, the ghost then seems so much farther away...but the pursuit continues. What would he find if he were to meet actually meet her? If fours are able to meet the person they have pursued in their minds as this beautiful, ethereal ghost, the discovery that the beautiful ghost up close is really a rotting corpse can be too much to bear, and retreat is inevitable. I think I've read about this point in the Enneagram books--the four must from the get go realize that what is going on their heads is just their wildly overactive imagination (great for your acting Konrad, but not for your pursuit of that real woman)--and say to themselves from the first sighting of the beautiful creature, she is a real person probably with great qualities but also with faults like me, can I withstand the pain, rejection, whatever? With your mind psyched up to this reality, JUST DO IT. (see my message to Karen about "Constructive Living" book).

: Of course as a gay man, all my ramblings on pursuing the elusive woman are just speculation, but I don't know, I've read a lot on these things, and believe that if it works the same in "my world," --and it does--it will work the same for you in yours.

: Your pursuit of acting is real, and excellent for a four; your goals are honest, not trivial, and definitely not superficial (for the reasons I've said above)--so get over it! (Write me on your favorite plays)--and keep posting here too on issues that come up for you. This is one caring group of people.

: All the best. Jay

Jay,

I feel embarrassed now, but thanks. I kind of
threw an instant reaction out on the board,
testing the waters, maybe secretly fishing
for the kind of warm response you just gave.
I'd like to know more about your interests
in order to come up with a useful list,
though.

Konrad
aderkon@yahoo.com

Follow Ups:

• Konrad--followup, 2 questions Jasper 15:04:52 10/26/99 (2)
  • Re: 2 Answers Konrad 16:07:12 10/26/99 (1)
    • Preliminary Answer (to Konrad) Jasper 17:28:25 10/26/99 (0)

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