Re: We're NEVER satisfied!

Posted by Ev on October 26, 1999 at 21:19:00:

In Reply to: We're NEVER satisfied! posted by Summer on October 26, 1999 at 17:53:18:

Oh yeah, I've been down this path a time or two myself. It's hard to make yourself accept anything less than soap opera perfection, isn't it? When you start seeing them as just a human with less than omnipotent powers to keep the "electricity" going at all times they suddenly aren't quite what you're looking for. After all, we just know that there are millions of people who *are* living this fantasy, right? This is where we sabotage ourselves. We believe that others have it much better than they do while we have it much worse than we do. Looking at it like this it's easy to see why there seems to be such a wide chasm between the haves (them) and the have-nots (us). If we thought that other people's relationships were only marginally better than our own we could probably bear it but, alas, that doesn't seem to be the case. Does this ring true for you?

Ev

:
: That whole idealizing thing is so interesting - and such a four thing.

: I have been seeing someone for about 5 months now, and my feelings are always changing. I have gone from being ecstatic to feeling flat, like something is missing - or maybe the sex is not as intense or dazzling as it should be - to feeling like I could be with this wonderful person for the rest of my life.

: He's a wonderful guy and I can actually see this going somewhere - and so starts the doubting! At first he was holding back quite a bit, but now that he's told me that his feelings have grown, and that he thinks I've expanded him, well, guess what? I have a little of that feeling - hmmmmmm? Is this for me?? Now that I have him!!! How typical. How ridiculous.

: The good thing is, I aware enough to realize this is me just being scared and uncertain, and wanting all the intensity & excitement of those early days! But intensity doesn't last, and if it does, you really have to question if that person is bad for you.

: In my case, we have the makings of a great friendship. Intelectually, I know this is the most important feature (for me) for a lasting relationship. And even emotionally I realize it sometimes. But when we are getting along so well, like good friends, and I'm getting used to him, I wonder if there is something more, or if there should be. I wonder why my attraction to him is not always intense. Well, of course it's not going to be always intense. That's the ebb and flow of any relationship.

: We fours are never satisfied. We put off making choices and decisions until there are sometimes none left. We kick people out of our lives, and later regret it. We always think what we have is not enough, only to later realize, it was just what we needed.

: Thoughts, anyone??

Follow Ups:

• Don't you all have other things in your lives to 'keep the electricity going'? Tiggy - who's never bored. 19:48:42 10/27/99 (2)
  • Re: Don't you all have other things in your lives to 'keep the electricity going'? Ev 21:24:54 10/27/99 (1)
    • I meant, people look to relationships too much for 'electricity'NT Tiggy 15:30:01 10/28/99 (0)
• Ev, major "kernel of Truth" you have spoken [NT] Jasper 09:18:04 10/27/99 (0)

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