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Re: I don't think I follow ghosts, but correct me if I'm wrong.

Re: I don't think I follow ghosts, but correct me if I'm wrong.

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Posted by Athena (previously known as Karen *without* the S!) heehee... on October 27, 1999 at 18:59:37:

In Reply to: Re: I don't think I follow ghosts, but correct me if I'm wrong. posted by Karen S on October 26, 1999 at 20:59:04:

: I felt disconnected from both parents (they are still married today). My dad was aloof & unavailable emotionally that way, and my mother was far to self absorbed.

:
: Wow- we not only have the same name, but the same *parents*. Weird.

: I agree that if idealization is not an issue for you, then that's a good thing. You may have been saved *that* pain anyway.

Hi Karen~~

Idealization was one of my *biggest* issues. It took me a long time to work it through and figure it out. I still think that to a certain extent, I become disappointed w/ a person during some time in the relationship, probably because I was idealizing a certain aspect of him/her. At least it's not the whole person (most the time). I have found this to be one of the biggest challenges in my life: to bring people down to reality---to see them as they are, not what I'd like them to be. And yes, as Romantics, idealization of others is a characteristic problem of a 4 (though it does not happen w/ every 4).

: I do remember idealizing my parents at a very young age- they were both brilliant and beautiful and good. Then as a young teen I came to believe that they were ogres... Now I know they are just people, but I don't feel particularly connected to either of them- though I've tried- and I'm not so sure I like them.

: (Actually I think many people in my life have been both Beauty and Beast...
: Not so much now...but it's still there..)

: I do feel like I raised myself from a young age. Is this common to Four?

I wonder if we're getting two different posts mixed up? heehee.... at any rate, I'm not sure about whether bringing onesself up emotionally is common to 4s. I know I had to raise myself emotionally, but it was all very complicated for me (with all the mood swings vs. emotions). You might want to post that question on the board for everyone to see? It's a good question.

Athena

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Re: I don't think I follow ghosts, but correct me if I'm wrong. Karen S 20:03:02 10/27/99 (0)

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: : I felt disconnected from both parents (they are still married today). My dad was aloof & unavailable emotionally that way, and my mother was far to self absorbed. : : : : Wow- we not only have the same name, but the same *parents*. Weird. : : I agree that if idealization is not an issue for you, then that's a good thing. You may have been saved *that* pain anyway. : Hi Karen~~ : Idealization was one of my *biggest* issues. It took me a long time to work it through and figure it out. I still think that to a certain extent, I become disappointed w/ a person during some time in the relationship, probably because I was idealizing a certain aspect of him/her. At least it's not the whole person (most the time). I have found this to be one of the biggest challenges in my life: to bring people down to reality---to see them as they are, not what I'd like them to be. And yes, as Romantics, idealization of others is a characteristic problem of a 4 (though it does not happen w/ every 4). : : I do remember idealizing my parents at a very young age- they were both brilliant and beautiful and good. Then as a young teen I came to believe that they were ogres... Now I know they are just people, but I don't feel particularly connected to either of them- though I've tried- and I'm not so sure I like them. : : (Actually I think many people in my life have been both Beauty and Beast... : : Not so much now...but it's still there..) : : I do feel like I raised myself from a young age. Is this common to Four? : : I wonder if we're getting two different posts mixed up? heehee.... at any rate, I'm not sure about whether bringing onesself up emotionally is common to 4s. I know I had to raise myself emotionally, but it was all very complicated for me (with all the mood swings vs. emotions). You might want to post that question on the board for everyone to see? It's a good question. : Athena

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