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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Re: Positive things about being a THREE.Posted by Summer on August 05, 1998 at 16:24:10: In Reply to: Re: Positive things about being a THREE. posted by Hal on August 05, 1998 at 13:46:43:
Hal, I know how you feel. (of course I do, I'm a four!) I have had difficulty with my 3 friend in the recent past. Your comment about touching on childhood feelings really triggered something in me. Their attack & denial at the same time sets of in me an explosion of nasty feelings all at once: rage, frustration, hurt, confusion, and a feeling of being out of balance so I can't think properly. It's an absolutely out of control, horrible feeling. I think your idea about taking time to think is a really excellent one. What they want is for you to react right away; then as you are raging, they go into a calm state, pointing out how crazy & horrible you are. If you don't give them what they want, you will have time to think more clearly while they go overboard. I think that's the key: don't be sucked in to their comments. I found my friend is really good at saying the most hateful, hostile, insulting things while remaining perfectly calm, even laughing. It makes me lose control. If you think of how to react in advance (ie. hold back) you will stay in control of yourself. An unhealthy 3 with a 4 wing is no picnic either, believe me.
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