Re: To Matches.

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Posted by Tiggy. on October 30, 1999 at 16:47:49:

In Reply to: Re: To Matches. posted by Matches on October 29, 1999 at 23:19:12:

I actually told someone that I was having problems without feeling like I should cash my car into something afterwards.

[Aren't people allowed to have problems then? you wouldn't be the first!
Some of your college peers may have problems much later in their lives, or cause other people problems.]

I can't do a damn thing for myself...

[Your academic advisor knows that it is hard when someone is feeling stuck to go ahead with making an appointment that will bring up the issue - why do you think she offered to do it FOR you. Jonathan's tutors used to send him notes via the Chaplaincy, because they knew he'd never have the courage to look in his pigeon-hole!]

Anyway I meet with somebody on Wednesday.

[Well done! ]

I don't really have what it takes.

[To do what? Focus on specifics. What exactly can't you do? Write an essay? Do a project? Come up with ideas? Revise for an exam? Attend lectures? Make notes? Read? Find books in the Library? Jot down references? Put two sentences together? Put two paragraphs together? Work with other people? Any of these things? Get out of bed?]

[What does it take? Don't use big embracing words - what actual practical things that you have to do to finish your course, does it take?]

: And what is "Matches"? Its a long, strange, and fairly uninteresting story...

[Can a story be both strange and uninteresting?]

: Matches - I think of somebody smallish and cute, wistful and endearing. I have a very definite picture of what you look like, and I'm wondering if it's anything like the real thing.

Haven't forgotten that recipe - I used to have to cook for 12 people so I found some easy just mix everything together and bung it in the oven recipes.

:
: :You may feel like laughing out loud at the moment, but that's because you just feel the relief from the pressure of telling yourself you really must do some work and what's going to happen if you don't. Now you're in the space of thinking, well I've done it so nothing left to worry about on that front. It may seem tedious to a Four, but if I were your lawyer, I would advise you to see someone at the college, whether it's the Counselling Service (which is always a good ploy, and stands you in good stead), or someone like a personal tutor. you may not think at the moment that you may want to go back to college, but if you ever do, then it's much better to have done things properly than to have just dropped out. I really think that at the least you should just intercalate for a year or possibly two. They may even let you come back onto a different course or help you get into a different college. but if you don't see them and they see that you've made an effort to sort things out, they won't feel sufficiently connected to you to be of help. It wouldn't kill you to make an appointment just to sort out your options for the future. There may even be issues about money, like not having to pay for the whole term or for tuition fees. If nothing else, it's free counselling and you can focus on your career choices or general aimlessness. I've been in this situation myself at university and was able to cover myself by doing these simple things. It would also look better to your parents when you have to tell them. At least you can let them think for a while that you haven't burned all your bridges. We often see things with the college authorities as being more horrific than how they actually see them. They are so used to students being in this situation, they are hardly going to be shocked. You may even be able to switch some of your modules over to another course to make it a combined one, so not losing out on what you've already done, or move straight into the next year up at another college, rather than having to go through the time spent again.

: What is the wrinkle you need to iron out? If you don't want to put it on here, my e-mail is tiggyrachel@netscape.net

: I just know how much Jonathan regretted having dropped out, and it's shut off all sorts of career opportunities he could have followed up.

:
: : Matches - there are two posts way, way down the board for you entitled 'Matches - advice from one who's been there'. Please read them and respond! But reply up here pref.

: : Hope your feelin' okay,

: : Love Tigs.

: : PS I dont' even know where 'Matches' came from; wasn't it someone in a film. How come your surname is Latin?!!

Follow Ups:

Re: To Matches. Matches 21:03:29 10/30/99 (7)
- Re: To Matches - once more with feeling!. Tiggy. 08:33:10 10/31/99 (6)
  - Re: To Matches - once more with feeling!. Matches 14:08:54 10/31/99 (5)
    - Matches - reprise. Tiggy. 15:15:12 10/31/99 (4)
      - Re: Matches - reprise. Matches 18:06:32 10/31/99 (3)
        
        On Working Hard and enjoying yourself. Tigs. 18:42:58 10/31/99 (2)
        
        On "On Working Hard and enjoying yourself." Matches 21:28:32 10/31/99 (1)
        
        Only you know what you want. Tiggy. 16:45:33 11/01/99 (0)

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: I actually told someone that I was having problems without feeling like I should cash my car into something afterwards. : : [Aren't people allowed to have problems then? you wouldn't be the first! : Some of your college peers may have problems much later in their lives, or cause other people problems.] : : I can't do a damn thing for myself... : [Your academic advisor knows that it is hard when someone is feeling stuck to go ahead with making an appointment that will bring up the issue - why do you think she offered to do it FOR you. Jonathan's tutors used to send him notes via the Chaplaincy, because they knew he'd never have the courage to look in his pigeon-hole!] : Anyway I meet with somebody on Wednesday. : [Well done! ] : I don't really have what it takes. : [To do what? Focus on specifics. What exactly can't you do? Write an essay? Do a project? Come up with ideas? Revise for an exam? Attend lectures? Make notes? Read? Find books in the Library? Jot down references? Put two sentences together? Put two paragraphs together? Work with other people? Any of these things? Get out of bed?] : [What does it take? Don't use big embracing words - what actual practical things that you have to do to finish your course, does it take?] : : : And what is "Matches"? Its a long, strange, and fairly uninteresting story... : [Can a story be both strange and uninteresting?] : : Matches - I think of somebody smallish and cute, wistful and endearing. I have a very definite picture of what you look like, and I'm wondering if it's anything like the real thing. : Haven't forgotten that recipe - I used to have to cook for 12 people so I found some easy just mix everything together and bung it in the oven recipes. : : : : :You may feel like laughing out loud at the moment, but that's because you just feel the relief from the pressure of telling yourself you really must do some work and what's going to happen if you don't. Now you're in the space of thinking, well I've done it so nothing left to worry about on that front. It may seem tedious to a Four, but if I were your lawyer, I would advise you to see someone at the college, whether it's the Counselling Service (which is always a good ploy, and stands you in good stead), or someone like a personal tutor. you may not think at the moment that you may want to go back to college, but if you ever do, then it's much better to have done things properly than to have just dropped out. I really think that at the least you should just intercalate for a year or possibly two. They may even let you come back onto a different course or help you get into a different college. but if you don't see them and they see that you've made an effort to sort things out, they won't feel sufficiently connected to you to be of help. It wouldn't kill you to make an appointment just to sort out your options for the future. There may even be issues about money, like not having to pay for the whole term or for tuition fees. If nothing else, it's free counselling and you can focus on your career choices or general aimlessness. I've been in this situation myself at university and was able to cover myself by doing these simple things. It would also look better to your parents when you have to tell them. At least you can let them think for a while that you haven't burned all your bridges. We often see things with the college authorities as being more horrific than how they actually see them. They are so used to students being in this situation, they are hardly going to be shocked. You may even be able to switch some of your modules over to another course to make it a combined one, so not losing out on what you've already done, or move straight into the next year up at another college, rather than having to go through the time spent again. : : What is the wrinkle you need to iron out? If you don't want to put it on here, my e-mail is tiggyrachel@netscape.net : : I just know how much Jonathan regretted having dropped out, and it's shut off all sorts of career opportunities he could have followed up. : : : : : : Matches - there are two posts way, way down the board for you entitled 'Matches - advice from one who's been there'. Please read them and respond! But reply up here pref. : : : Hope your feelin' okay, : : : Love Tigs. : : : PS I dont' even know where 'Matches' came from; wasn't it someone in a film. How come your surname is Latin?!!

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