Posted by Jasper on November 01, 1999 at 12:25:53:
In Reply to: The outsider often has the clearer view posted by Cory on October 31, 1999 at 22:52:56:
: I think it's a mixture of both. There is the five-wing which makes us detached, but since we are also Fours, we are both self-conscious, and thus we hesitate to stop detaching. Fours are afraid others will find fault with them, and Fives are simply afraid of others!
: Today at work, a co-worker mentioned that during high school she took a music class and they learned about the Beatles, Doors, and Led Zeppelin, and these are my favorite bands - but I couldn't converse with her! It's like my mind became paralyzed. I just simply couldn't think of anything to say to her. This is what happens to me alot when I am forced to interact with others in real life. For some reason, online, it's quite easy but the real life is too difficult for me. Anyways, I was analyzing this situation further, and I have known in some cases where I have been Thinking of something to say, but not actually saying it. It might be something funny. The reason why I didn't say anything is because of my fear that they will find fault with me. I am terrified to reveal my Real Self to anybody because people will find it imperfect, strange, and laughable. Instead, I put up an emotional-mental wall from people so they cannot have a sneak peak at this freak.
: You are very much like me Emily, so maybe this is why you are a detached observer to...afraid of getting involved with the world because you might get revealed.
: Love, (simple yet sweet)
: Cory (also on the outskirts of life)
Yes, I too can relate to what you both have said. The difference between then and now is that then, I found walking through situations as a detached observer made me feel bittersweet; sort of like walking through a soft windstorm. Now, however, these experiences are making me feel depressed when I return home from the experience--don't know exactly why [See my message above on personal issue]. Seems to be better to not venture into them at all; only when I know the people in the experience will welcome me and my words.--Jay