Only you know what you want.

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: Dear Matches, : What do you think has brought all this on? Not wanting to be around people at all and not wanting to do anything is serious! If you're that depressed you should see your doctor. What makes you think things will be any different outside of college, or don't you? I had the opposite problem at college; I couldn't bear to be by myself, which made doing essays difficult! My tutor used to let me work in his office sometimes when he was working in there, which was nice, very companionable, and if I got stuck I could just ask him if it was right. Do you have to share a room at college? I understood it was the norm in the States, though here it wouldn't be tolerated - I guess we're less gregarious. It's a shame your not into doing some writing, because wanting to be by yourself would be ideal. What's happened about your scriptwriting? : I don't mean to sound like I know the answers and you don't, but I've just seen so many students go through the sort of thing you're going through and saying similar things about essays not being any use etc. Isn't there anything you want to learn about? Is there an independent studies scheme where you can pick and choose and invent your own? I hated to admit it to myself but writing essays IS quite a good way to get to grips with a subject. I always want to take short cuts and not do the groundwork, but you have to have external input in the sense of other peoples writing on a subject or talks from people who've been studying it. : At least you've decided to do something about it now and not just drift along letting things get worse. Do you have any idea why you don't want to be with people? Isn't it a kind of pride to be so despairing of yourself just because you don't feel you match up to expected standards. Remember Fours hate the have to learn to tolerate the mundane, which includes seeing oneself as average, rather than academically special. It's a thing that often makes us sabotage what we're doing, like me with the teacher-training. I wasn't content to just pass the certificate, I wanted to be super-teacher, and I was well on the way to impressing them all, when I screwed up. Like what I said about my essays, not doing it at all if I couldn't get high marks. : I know you don't care about what employers want, but you have to earn money somehow and it's better if you can do it in an enjoyable way. The point I was making was that it doesn't really matter what you study at college, so it's better to study something you like. : What DO you want to do? I don't mean in the future necessarily, but at the moment? You've said a lot about what you don't want to do, but not much positive except you have mentioned scriptwriting before and you like making films with your friends, or have you gone off that? : If you had no holds barred, what would you like to do? Fantasies etc. I mean of the career kind! Or instead of a career if you like. I have wanted to be a therapist since I was 15, a teacher since I was about 7. And it looks like I'll manage both of those, though I've had to be persistent. But the thought of going back to being a secretary usually spurs me on. : Don't know if you'll see this before you see the Counsellor, but do try to keep an open mind and not just be totally negative when you're talking to her. You have to think what you really want, not just what you don't want. : Love Tigs. PS I would love a picture if you can find one. My address is, : Rachel Perry : 70 Brentwood Rd. : Ingrave, : Brentwood, : Essex. CM13 3RD. : ENGLAND.

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