Posted by Hal on November 01, 1999 at 17:35:08:
In Reply to: On Feeling Detached posted by Emily on October 31, 1999 at 20:27:43:
: You know, I never paid much attention to it, but today I suddenly realized that I have been living my life, and observing others from the inside of a box, so to speak. Is it a four thing to feel extremely detached from a situation, almost like you are not a part of what is happening...even if you are involved? Or is it my Five wing?
: I see the world not as if I am a part of it, but as if I am disconnected and Watching everything that goes on. Actually, as I remember back, I have seen Everything in this way! I 'interact' as I'm protected in my little box, peeking out of a hole I've made just the right size in order to see Everything.
: It reminds me of how it is possible to see almost the entire night sky if a person is at the bottom of a Water Well, looking out. But if someone is standing above ground, without a tunnel of vision, totally connected to the land, it is Impossible to see as much as the other person below it all does.
: -Emily, who is narrowly avoiding the waters of disheartenment
There have been several periods in my life when I felt very detached, and I'm in one right now. It's as if when I'm talking to people, it feels as thought it not I who am talking, but rather that I'm "outside" just observing myself talking. It's a strange sensation. I've found it often occurs after I've had some powerful spiritual or meditation experience that greatly changes my perception of things. It takes some time to adjust and feel like "myself" again. Since we 4's are constantly searching and changing, it seem natural for us to experience this feeling often.
But I think there's also an element of feeling that we don't belong or fit in. One of my biggest "4 issues" has been not feeling connected, to others or to God. I am very aware of when I do and don't feel that connection, and it can often leave me feeling detached. The irony is that while feeling detached from the world, I can still be VERY attached to my own feelings, which makes me very affected by the negative feelings that come along. I have tended to identify my Self with those feelings, and I need to remind myself that I am not my feelings. We also need to remember that we are part of the world around us, and are not independent of it. Whether we feel detached for not, we are participants in life as much as observers.
- Hal -