Re: More questions to ease my lonliness of segregation...

Posted by Hal on September 18, 1998 at 17:15:48:

In Reply to: More questions to ease my lonliness of segregation... posted by Cindy on September 18, 1998 at 01:02:47:

: I hope I'm not wearing you all out, but I feel compelled to use this method of communication as regularily as any other...like a phone call to a good friend for both a good reason and sometimes, for no real reason. Except now I feel my words aren't falling on deaf, or unempathetic ears (or eyes).

: I was wondering about a few things that may ease my lonliness of segregation.

: *Have problems with math?
: *Hate seeing recent pictures/ video of yourself?
: *Love looking at old puictures of yourself (like when you were 12) and perhaps display them proudly?
: *When you were a kid, did you think you were special and you would be an instant sucess when you grew up because of it?
: *Strive to be different from your friends in any way physically as in style of dress or taste in music/film etc.?
: *Think you are extra sensitive to other peoples emotions (eg: you're out with someone for dinner and they speak rudely to the waitress)?
: *Generally pessimistic/ negative?
: *People compliment you on your sense of humour (however dark), your artistic skills and taste in material things?

: There are many more but for now, I don't expect anyone to respond yes or no to each of these situations... please just let me know you say yes to the majority or not.

Yes to almost all of these, the major exception being math.

When I was in first grade, math was stable and predictable at the time when I first started to feel different. I couldn't get enough of it, and would spend free time doing addition and subtraction instead of playing with the other kids. Up through high school, I was a "math and science" person; very good in English, foreign languages, and music too, but I hated history. I just couldn't stand rote memorization of arbitrary human happenings. Now I have two engineering degrees and work as a computer engineer. I will admit that I never quite figured out differential equations or linear algebra--I like to blame that on bad professors. Actually, I'm surprised that so many 4w5's here seem to dislike or have trouble with math.

I never would have said that I strive to be different than everyone else, but just that I didn't try to be the same. Maybe I'm just fooling myself, but being different just seems to come naturally. Now, I lift weights and work out seriously, which I suppose is putting a great effort into being different (and superior?) physically.

Most of all though, is that I do feel that I am extra sensitive to peoples' emotions, to the point that I think I'm the only one who sees these things. I'm sure it's incredibly arrogant to think that everyone else is so blind, that I'm the only really iNtuitive person around and no one else could possibly see or experience the things I do. And the weirdest part is that sometimes I'll be feeling really down, and I'll swing to the other extreme--that everyone else is seeing something that I'm missing, and I'll never fit in or be happy because if it.

So the short form of my answer: Yes. You are not alone.

- Hal -

Follow Ups:

• Re: More questions to ease my lonliness of segregation... T 19:19:46 9/21/98 (1)
  • Re: More questions to ease my lonliness of segregation... Hal 08:15:04 9/23/98 (0)

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