Posted by Derf on December 16, 1998 at 15:19:43:
In Reply to: In need of enlightenment.... posted by Milly on December 16, 1998 at 11:01:19:
Fours aren't simply "bleeding hearts." Although a few beginner-level books will generally paint them in this caricature, the real patterns are much more rich and complex. For instance, many Fours, including myself, have trouble with emotional expression because they seek "proper" or "ideal" expression (4c1), and their shame (social subtype) causes them to fear falling short of this ideal. We also tend to inhibit our automatic inner emotional responses because of similar issues with idealistic standards. For instance, the Four might ask, "Is it intense enough? ... beautiful enough? ... 'pure' enough?" The inner world of a Four is a closely guarded and strictly controlled world of idealistic standards, which, in addition to their shame, often causes them to (a) shun reality, (b) shun automatic emotional responses, and (c) retreat into their storybook fantasies, where they can manipulate themselves, with imaginative "artistry," into experiencing certain "desired" effects in the imagination.
4c1 is usually considered "the path of integration," but this connection, epitomizing subjective idealism, is the root of many of Fours' problems with inhibition.
4c2, on the other hand, often associated with "stress," takes its form in a self-aggrandizing elitism in which the Four demands, either implicitly or explicitly, to be treated specially. 4c2 also expresses itself in Fours' need to impress people (particularly their loved ones) with their "uniquity," and to inspire heightened emotional states in others.
The prideful feelings of 4c2 combine with the subjective idealism of 4c1 to produce a personality that is both obsessive and *discouraged* in the area of emotional feeling and expression.
Fours ease up on their inhibitions when they learn to temper their need to control situations and thoughts for emotional effect. This entails accepting themselves for who they are. They also must learn to temper their pride, so that they don't feel that every unpleasant encounter is a personal attack on them. Until they do, however, they're inhibited on several levels. In this light, I would say your statement makes perfect sense.