Posted by Amanda on December 18, 1998 at 11:16:21:
In Reply to: Re: In need of enlightenment.... posted by Hal on December 17, 1998 at 08:53:35:
: Hi Milly.
: Yes, 4's are overly emotional, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we are dramatically and outwardly emotional and expressive. For a long time, I was very out of touch with my emotions. There was just too much pain, so I shut them down and pretended they didn't exist. I wanted to be a completely rational, thinking person unaffected by irrational feelings, and for a long time I convinced myself that I was.
: But it wasn't true. The emotions were still there, and still very much a part of me. But by ignoring them and pretending they didn't exist, they controlled me, which is exactly what I wanted to avoid by trying to be rational. I think this is what it means when we say that 4's are overly emotional--emotions play too large a role in our lives and our sense of self. This happens whether we're in touch with them or not.
: The other down side to turning off the negative emotions (as if being out of touch and out of control aren't enough) is that painful emotions don't exist in a vacuum. You can't remove the bad and keep the good. Eliminate the pain, and you also inadvertently eliminate the pleasure. This leaves you with that blah feeling of melancholy and dullness that is so characteristic of 4's.
: There is so much more to say, but I'm drawing a blank right now. I wish I could give some quick-fix advice, but there really is none. I can't think of any inspirational sayings or recommended books to read at the moment either. All I can say right now is to urge you to try to get in touch with these painful emotions. Maybe you can discuss them with someone you trust and feel comfortable opening up to. It won't be easy, but when you open yourself up to the anger and fear, you also open yourself up to joy and love. It can be painful, but it's worth it.
: - Hal -
Hi Milly, Hal et al,
Milly...I can relate to what you have to say about your inability to express particularly negative emotions (see previous posts). You'll see that I suffer from the same problem...so much so that I wasn't sure that I was 4 at all! I think the Hal's insight may help the both of us....thanks Hal! Also...you might like to have a look at the postings on the message board regarding countertypes...some very interesting hypothoses, and worth a look (Well, I found them enlightening, anyway)...I'm getting a REAL education from these folks!
Good luck
Amanda :)