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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive ThankyouPosted by Milly on December 22, 1998 at 09:32:12: Hello again Just wanted to thankyou for your ideas on 'what to do'. I found it very affirming to find that I'm not the only one who has trouble expressing and dealing with difficult emotions. On examination, I find that I do have alot of anger and sadness in there that needs attending to. I've become somewhat depressed lately and that usually masks my anger-they say depression is anger turned inwards and I think I must agree. I think the counsel to 'give it time' has been a good one. Given a bit of time, these unpleasant beasties are beginning to surface - and I'm trying to go gently with myself, instead of driving myself from myself in my usual masochistic way (if you know what I mean). I am also trying to see things from her point of view. Not in the blow-by-blow details so much as from her 6 point of view.(I spent the best part of a year getting the blow-by-blow descriptions from her point of view). This perspective is enabling me to see a 'bigger picture' here. I must allow for the possibility that I have gone to the 2 in supporting both my friends - I must admit to the occassional thought "after everything I've done for her!" feeling(..as much as I hate to say it). I can also see where she may have gone to the 3 in seeking approval...there was certainly enough evidence of it. I had written her a vitriolic letter borne out of my anger - which I never sent. I needed to express it somehow when it (the anger) briefly reared its ugly head...and the letter served its purpose as far as it went - but I agree with the sentiment that acting out of anger is usually counter productive. I don't think it would have achieved anything but more problems...and it certainly wouldn't have done her any good . I'm not the sort of person who can just sound off, caring less who I hurt in the process...never have been. Maybe love is the only answer. Anyway, thankyou again for your contributions...it has all helped.
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