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No, you didn't get it wrong.....

No, you didn't get it wrong.....

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Posted by Tiggy on January 04, 1900 at 17:37:03:

In Reply to: Re: Ah, I got it. posted by Julian on January 04, 1900 at 11:15:17:

You were responding to my having positioned Fours as the disabled or seriously damaged of the Enneagram, by having identified their essence as a response to suffering. Whereas you wish to identify their essence as unappreciated talent and sensitivity. I think, given the development of Type as a means of defence against harm to the growing person, that all Types are essentially formed by the suffering and harm we experience as young children. This harm may be inevitable and brought about by limitations, ie we have to have parents with certain specific personalities, and these will necessarily affect and shape our own through the encouragement and discouragement, whether intentional or otherwise, of particular traits. To give an example, a parent who prefers peace and quiet may encourage a child to be quiet and engage in peaceful pursuits like reading, while another parent may be bubbly and talkative and encourage their child through stimulation and engagement, to be talkative and sociable. This shaping may also be caused by reaction and the development of complimentarity, so that a loud dominating parent may create a quiet reserved child. So we all 'suffer' in the Latin sense of 'being acted upon' and all E-types are a result of this suffering or restriction.

Where I think the Four Type is different however, in relation to this, is that Fours seem to recognise their restrictedness and be aware of their suffering. Personally, I find it hard to look back at my childhood and remember much else, which is not to say that it was all bad, but my perception is such that I only remember the painful aspects as they have made the most impact on me. (Perhaps that is a truism).

I had mentioned that such suffering as Fours remember precedes the ability to be pretentious, in the adult sense, because it is so much implied that Fours are just being affected in their focus on suffering and sadness.

(BTW - Excuse me if I sounded a little aggressive yesterday; I was unwell and was feeling generally angry.)

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Thanks for clearing up--and no offense was ever taken! [NT] Julian 14:10:10 01/05/00 (0)

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: You were responding to my having positioned Fours as the disabled or seriously damaged of the Enneagram, by having identified their essence as a response to suffering. Whereas you wish to identify their essence as unappreciated talent and sensitivity. I think, given the development of Type as a means of defence against harm to the growing person, that all Types are essentially formed by the suffering and harm we experience as young children. This harm may be inevitable and brought about by limitations, ie we have to have parents with certain specific personalities, and these will necessarily affect and shape our own through the encouragement and discouragement, whether intentional or otherwise, of particular traits. To give an example, a parent who prefers peace and quiet may encourage a child to be quiet and engage in peaceful pursuits like reading, while another parent may be bubbly and talkative and encourage their child through stimulation and engagement, to be talkative and sociable. This shaping may also be caused by reaction and the development of complimentarity, so that a loud dominating parent may create a quiet reserved child. So we all 'suffer' in the Latin sense of 'being acted upon' and all E-types are a result of this suffering or restriction. : Where I think the Four Type is different however, in relation to this, is that Fours seem to recognise their restrictedness and be aware of their suffering. Personally, I find it hard to look back at my childhood and remember much else, which is not to say that it was all bad, but my perception is such that I only remember the painful aspects as they have made the most impact on me. (Perhaps that is a truism). : I had mentioned that such suffering as Fours remember precedes the ability to be pretentious, in the adult sense, because it is so much implied that Fours are just being affected in their focus on suffering and sadness. : (BTW - Excuse me if I sounded a little aggressive yesterday; I was unwell and was feeling generally angry.)

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