Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive

Re: Aggression

Re: Aggression

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Type 4 Message Board ] [ FAQ ]

Posted by Emily on January 04, 2000 at 20:59:12:

In Reply to: Re: Aggression posted by Tiggy on January 04, 1900 at 17:56:40:

: I reckon many Fours don't show aggression readily, because they are afraid of rejection, and turn any aggressive feelings in on themselves. I also think some may do this because of a tremendous fear of aggression caused for example by having had aggressive fathers. They may also have been told that they are a bad person for showing any aggression. These three things may be separate or tied together. For myself I think all three are true, judging by my family relationships.

: However, I would still say I am an aggressive person. This may be because I still believe it when my parents say I am; I probably still believe that I'm a bad person too. I'm certain that I've turned a lot of anger in on myself over the years and converted it to depression. My reasons for doing this are that I got hit if I expressed aggression, and that was frightening. So this incorporates both fear of anger and a sense of being bad if I express anger. The third aspect I've mentioned, fear of rejection, is also tied in with the perception of oneself as a bad person. I know that until fairly recently, I've allowed myself to become a doormat, and supressed or even repressed any anger with a friend for example, in order to avoid rejection, and that is deeply connected to having a poor self-image.

: I would say that scoring low on aggression, particularly if the person acknowledges depression is almost certainly a sign of its being repressed.

----------

I agree Tiggy. I've said before that I find it Extremely difficult to get angry. And if I *am* mad, i feel like I'm being selfish and that my anger is unjustified. If someone offends me, or if someone insults me or does anything else that Should have anger as a result, I get hurt instead. Well..thats not entirely true. I do get mad, but if I am, it is because of something that is so extreme that there is no other emotion to experience but anger. For example, one time earlier in the year during gym class, there was a very small freshman in school who was getting chased down a hill by several much larger students. They started beating up on him, while other people stood around and watched, doing nothing. For whatever reason, my anger towards those bullies was So overwhelming, that I ran over and told them to Fuck Off, and helped the kid up and took him under my wing. (my anger probably has to do with the bullies in school who used to make fun of me. repression...coming to the surface) However, I think that if they would have been beating up on ME, I wouldnt have been angry, i just would have been hurt emotionally.

Also, I grew up without a father and without any sort of masculine figure, and so that may have something to do with my repressed anger.

-Emily, who represses quite a lot

Follow Ups:

Post a Followup

Name:
E-Mail:

Subject:

Comments:
: : I reckon many Fours don't show aggression readily, because they are afraid of rejection, and turn any aggressive feelings in on themselves. I also think some may do this because of a tremendous fear of aggression caused for example by having had aggressive fathers. They may also have been told that they are a bad person for showing any aggression. These three things may be separate or tied together. For myself I think all three are true, judging by my family relationships. : : However, I would still say I am an aggressive person. This may be because I still believe it when my parents say I am; I probably still believe that I'm a bad person too. I'm certain that I've turned a lot of anger in on myself over the years and converted it to depression. My reasons for doing this are that I got hit if I expressed aggression, and that was frightening. So this incorporates both fear of anger and a sense of being bad if I express anger. The third aspect I've mentioned, fear of rejection, is also tied in with the perception of oneself as a bad person. I know that until fairly recently, I've allowed myself to become a doormat, and supressed or even repressed any anger with a friend for example, in order to avoid rejection, and that is deeply connected to having a poor self-image. : : I would say that scoring low on aggression, particularly if the person acknowledges depression is almost certainly a sign of its being repressed. : ---------- : I agree Tiggy. I've said before that I find it Extremely difficult to get angry. And if I *am* mad, i feel like I'm being selfish and that my anger is unjustified. If someone offends me, or if someone insults me or does anything else that Should have anger as a result, I get hurt instead. Well..thats not entirely true. I do get mad, but if I am, it is because of something that is so extreme that there is no other emotion to experience but anger. For example, one time earlier in the year during gym class, there was a very small freshman in school who was getting chased down a hill by several much larger students. They started beating up on him, while other people stood around and watched, doing nothing. For whatever reason, my anger towards those bullies was So overwhelming, that I ran over and told them to Fuck Off, and helped the kid up and took him under my wing. (my anger probably has to do with the bullies in school who used to make fun of me. repression...coming to the surface) However, I think that if they would have been beating up on ME, I wouldnt have been angry, i just would have been hurt emotionally. : Also, I grew up without a father and without any sort of masculine figure, and so that may have something to do with my repressed anger. : -Emily, who represses quite a lot

Optional Link URL:
Link Title:
Optional Image URL:

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Type 4 Message Board ] [ FAQ ] type4board/messages/7859.html

Your Ad Here