Re: Thankyou-this raises a question...

Posted by Hal on January 04, 1999 at 10:38:58:

In Reply to: Re: Thankyou-this raises a question... posted by Amanda on December 25, 1998 at 11:23:36:

: Hey Hal
: thanks for your insights
: I don't think I made myself 100% clear in the last post
: It's not that I can't just express the anger to 'let it go' as you call it (if you ever work out how it's done - please let me know - I have a feeling I'm going to be needing that information somewhere down the track!) - the problem is that I don't feel the anger (or sadness) in the first place. Usually what happens is that I numb out when I get stressed and the numbness makes it very difficult to determin exactly what kind of emotion is bothering me so much. All I usually sense is that it's bad somehow.
: Consequently, the first inkling I have that it is anger that is bothering me is that I become depressed. Practically every time this has happened - anger has been at the base of the problem. Even when I make the determination, I still don't seem to be able to access the angry feelings - they constantly elude me.
: On the very few occassions when I have been able to feel angry - I tried all kinds of different approaches to express it, but still haven't found the key (hence my request for a solution - if you ever find one).

: Is this numbness frequent among 4's or even 5's?(I have a fairly strong 5w)

: Why does anger have to be so messy?

: Amanda :)

I believe this numbness is common among 4's, and probably 5's as well. We 4's tend to overindulge in our feelings and can get overwhelmed by them, so it's only natural that we would automatically shut them down when they become too painful. 5's are often out of touch with their emotions, or like to think that they're "above" emotionality, and this too can lead to a numb feeling.

As for anger/depression, they're often two sides of the same coin. When we take anger that should be directed outward at someone else, and turn it inward instead, we become depressed. A suggestion I've read for becoming more aware of this is to simply try to reverse the direction of any negative emotions we feel. If you feel hurt, it may be that you have a desire to hurt someone, and you've turned that inward against yourself. It may be that many 4's and 5's picked up the idea somewhere along the line that getting angry is bad, so we repress it. The problem is that you can't escape the emotion by (subconsciously) pretending it doesn't exist. So it ends up being turned around against ourselves, and we feel hurt and depressed instead.

I hope some of this helps, and that I wasn't just talking around in circles. Awareness is always the first step, and this is a useful way I've found to become more aware of my true feelings.

- Hal -

Follow Ups:

• Re: Thankyou-this raises a question... Amanda 11:11:26 1/05/99 (1)
  • Re: Thankyou-this raises a question... Hal 15:01:39 1/05/99 (0)

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