Re: Thankyou-this raises a question...

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: : Dear Hal, : : You're a genius! I could just kiss you! : : Rather than talk in circles, you made perfect sense to me and gave me some very useful ideas. I tried what you suggested and, lo and behold, it worked! I was actually able to access what I was feeling about a certain situation here at home by reversing the 'polarity' so to speak and things became so much clearer to me. Instead of turning it all inward and inevitably shutting down - I was able to express it and it felt great! It's probably the first really honest encounter I've ever had where negative emotions have been involved and I found the experience incredibly liberating! : : What is even more amazing to me is that the world continues to rotate on it's normal axis! I'm sure, deep down, I believed that I would be rubbed out of existence if I ever expressed myself like I did. The most astonishing thing is that it seems that the problem is getting sorted out much more quickly than it normally would.(Just goes to show how people operate much better when they know what they're dealing with, I guess.) Usually, I would brood for a good long time over things before they got the better of me and I would end up numbing out. Needless to say, this made dealing with anything difficult almost impossible. Up until very recently I wasn't even aware that this is what I did - but there's no denying it now. Oh well, better late than never! : : The main thing I think I have to be aware of now is not to let this new-found power go to my head....can't have me turning into Attilla the Hun now, can we! : : Thanks again : : Amanda :) : Amanda, : Glad I could be such a big help. Something I've realized recently is that just as 5's tend to get stuck in their heads, we 4's can often get stuck in our hearts. I found that I was equating my feelings with my self. So if my feelings were hurt, I was hurt. If I felt bad, I was bad. If I felt worthless, I must be worthless. This is as much a misidentification as a 5's equating themselves with their thoughts and ideas, and turned out to be quite destuctive. With this attitude, the smallest thing can have a huge effect on your self-image, self-esteem, and your whole outlook on life. : It is quite amazing how the world keeps going just fine even when these bad emotions hit, even when we allow them into our lives. It certainly is uplifting and liberating when we're free to experience these "negative" emotions, though I still sometimes fear it and have to remind myself that everything is fine and will continue to be fine. I may feel hurt, but I am okay. At times like this, I get into a fantasy of imagining that I'm doing well, and trying to console someone who's going through a rough time. It could be a friend, or just some person I made up. But I've also realized that when I do this, I'm not talking to some imaginary other person, I'm really trying to console myself, to convince myself that everything will be okay. Maybe I just need to start listening. : - Hal -

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