If you'd like to know a LITTLE more about me...

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: Well, I'm definitely new to this board, and my name isn't *really* fourtoo :) : But I feel funny about posting my real name, maybe I will soon though. It's not a mystery nor am I any famous person trying to go undercover ;), but I just feel more comfortable for now not saying more...! : What i can say is that I am someone who has always been troubled by what I THOUGHT was a personality PROBLEM. Always weary (sp?) about being with lots of people, wondering what was wrong with me... Simply full of doubts all the time. About me, about the world. : And just last week I discovered this board by chance, on one of my frequent wanderings through the web, searching and searching for who knows what... but subcounsiously, I'm sure of it now, searching for SOMETHING. And when I started reading about enneagrams, and did the test, my result being a 4w5 (and a 6 close too), and read more about type 4... I was awestruck and felt a sudden wave of happiness that I can't describe! I went from feeling totally crazy to totally OK! This board has helped me understand myself in a huge way. : I'm a Leo, 26, female...! Who was all worried and feeling depressed and weird in a BAD way, and am now just as worried, depressed and wierd as before but in a GOOD way. I don't feel bad about it now. (at least not at this moment :) : Thanks. : (who are YOU x?? :) : : Who are you fourtoo? : : : : : : : Hi all, : : : : I have done some NLP sessions in the past, and have found them to be quite illuminating and helpful. One technique in NLP is to find the "core belief" or Core "question" that dominates and permeates someone's every-thought. Being a true Four, I found my core question to be "what's wrong with me?" : : : : Anyway, I've continued to "work on myself" and do various therapies, and I keep cycling to other "core" beliefs that "co-create" with the one mentioned above that also seem to contribute to sabotage the events in my life. The latest discovery was that some part of me thinks "I don't have the RIGHT to be", and this sense of not having the same right as everyone else to Be, ie, exist, translates into my apathy, and my sense of pointlessness and my insecurities. : : : : Does this have resonance for any other Fours out there? : : : : --Sedna : : : Sedna, yes...! I think I've asked myself that question "what's wrong with me" at least once a day. : : : Seriously wondering what my problem is, also wondering why I get angry at people who have done nothing wrong (when in reality I'm angry at myself), why I take things so personally.... Feeling unworthy, unimportant... I think what you said is a very good insight, how that feeling of not having the same right as everyone else affects you. And it always translates into a NEGATIVE feeling about ourselves, we never give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. Instead of thinking that perhaps we're simply different, that we have different points of view than those around us, that we behave differently, and that it's OK!! we think there is something wrong with us. : : : It gets overwhelming and frustrating... : : : So, I just wanted to say really that I have not done therapies or anything like it... the closest has been reading this board. But what your saying about how these FEELINGS of not having the same right as everyone else to be, "contribute to sabotage the events" in your life definitely rings true for me too. : : : I find these feelings paralyzing at times. They make me unable to interact comfortably with others, always feeling self-conscious and worried. : : : Then again, we know that it's a feeling, and deep down we know that of course we have the same right as everyone else to be... but it's one thing to know, and the other to feel. It's always easy to say what's right, and to say how we SHOULD feel... but when it comes to real life, and real feelings... it's not so easy then! : : :

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