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Enneagram Type 5 Board Archive Re: Related to Rotten Apple's Question: How do Fives generally act in social situations?Posted by K.B. on December 03, 2000 at 16:21:22: In Reply to: Related to Rotten Apple's Question: How do Fives generally act in social situations? posted by Cory on December 03, 2000 at 11:18:35: : I sometimes wonder if I'm too "nice" to be a Five. When meeting someone new, I tend to be friendly and smile at them, although there is a noticeable reserve in me. I can be flexible and listen to what other people see. However, this friendliness about me is just superficial. If someone is crying, it's very hard for me to comfort them. I don't really know what to do or what to say. Yesterday, my friends grandmother died and when he was explaining it to me, I didnt know how to comfort him. So I just said "hang in there", patted him on the shoulder and left (well, this was at work and I had to get back to work so I wasnt really being rude). : I am also intensely private and don't have any intimate (close) relationship with anyone. But it's not like I am all that Scroogy or mean. I treat everyone with respect, and will feign interest in what others say to not hurt their feelings. So I would say I'm quite receptive and all, but I definitely do not "seek out" social connections or anything. I don't go up to people and start conversations with them, even if I know them. Basically, my friendliness is kind of a buffer against the outside world, to keep me out of conflicts, however I am also sympathetic to others and don't want to hurt their feelings. : But everyone sees me as "weird". I dislike talking about mundane things. I only resort to small talk when there's an uncomfortable silence. I can also be quite provocative and critical. In the lounge at work, I'll often remark to someone how superficial beauty mags are, or the absurdity of talk shows, etc. : I also don't like dealing with feelings, but they creep up on me. I keep all of my emotions inside and then I explode. I am easily stressed out and once I explode, I throw a juvenile temper tantrum. Just yesterday, I had to restrain myself from doing this strange "dance" on the sales floor! So I guess anxiety is the first emotion which gets to me. I can also be angry at times. The only emotion I never show is sadness. You won't catch me crying or say Im depressed -- or even talk about my feelings. At home, I am often depressed and then I can just kind of wallow in it. At work, I have a fear of showing any kind of sadness in me. I don't want people to probe into my life or anything. I wish they would just see this persona of a shy friendly funny guy. : I wouldn't say I'm a Nine though; I know something is wrong with me. I also go through moods quickly -- from a giddy, childish, idea-obssessed mania to a nihilistic depression. I'm also quite contradictory: I am both a romantic and a cynic, an artist and a scientist, a comedian and a serious person, an entertainer and a recluse, an idealist and a nihilist. : I'm also self-obsessed. Look at all the "I"'s! Hmm, apostrophes after quotation marks look weird. : -Cory Your post Cory, sounds like something I could have written. You definitely sound like a solid 4w5-no doubt about it. The only question I have: Are you sure about being seen as weird by people? You might be seen this way, but the examples you gave? Just about anyone at the P.O. would agree that beauty magazines are superficial and that talk shows are absurd or that beauty magazines are absurd, talk shows superficial. If you say these things you may get a rep for being deep but not one for "weirdness". By being hyper critical Cory, you give more evidence of being 4. K.B.
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